The White Emperor tale
by Sscullys
Summary: AU story. Renji is a medieval sorcerer and Byakuya a prince with a dark secret
1. Meet The Moon

You know what they say about dragons. That they are all fire within. Well, maybe they are, maybe they aren't. I personally never met one till I arrive Rukongai. The snow was falling in the dirt, mud floor like white rain. The children, naked children actually if you consider the weather, were playing with the snow flakes, as if they were seeing them for the first time.

**Five small facts about Rukongai:**

**1. The temperatures were always - 6ºC to - 3ºC**  
**2. It was always snowing**  
**3. The people lived in complete misery, except for the so called "rich part of town" - Sereitei**  
**4. The kingdom didn't have a king**  
**5. Most of the people were ...liked to daydreaming**

I didn't strange the fact that all their eyes were over me. I tend to have that effect over people. You may say that I enchant them, but that isn't true. Being a medieval sorcerer, well, get real; I don't have all that power. But a stranger is always a stranger in a small kingdom. The message goes on, and now they know who is coming to occupy the previous "All dreams and potions" shop. As I walk down the main street their gaze on me speaks of hopes, dreams, but especially of fear. They are terrified. Maybe the fact that I walk with a nue at my side isn't helping. I say in a low voice to Zabimaru "Smile", but a baboon and a snake smiling seems to make them more frighten.  
A woman from the streets approaches me. You can tell by the way she moves her body that she sells it. I see despise in other women faces. Her face is really pretty, but she has this shade of red and gray over one of her eyes.

"Wanna have some fun tonight darling?"

I take a small bottle of oil from inside my clothes.

"Put this over your injured eye woman. Then spread the word and come see me for some tea. I have some business I want to discuss with you".

"My price is something more than a small bottle of oil", she speaks of defiance.

I don't pity her, she likes what she does. But she is a business woman, and I need her. Not for that, you perverts. She may do whatever she wishes out of her free time. As a shop owner I need an employee, one to attend costumers.

" I know ", I tell her, as i blink one eye and grin.

She looks confused. I continue my walk. Let's see if she shows up later. I finally arrive at the shop. There's a small, cosy room in the back with a mattress. It's enough for me and Zabimaru. As for the shop itself I will not have much trouble. The spell the previous owner casted at it was enough to keep the locals from enter and stole the potions. I don't know why he left. Kisuke was always a strange man. He told me, when I meet him four years ago, that here was too cold for him, Yourichi and the kids. Karakura was a nicer kingdom to live in. It sure was warmer. God, I'm going to freeze in this weather. I break all the spells and incantations and the shop is good as new. I put some of my own devices over the balcony, but I'm mesmerized about the resources on the shells. He even had seahorse powder, when we are so far from the sea!

**Four facts about Urahara Kisuke and Yourichi:**

**1. He would never use seahorse powder on Yourichi**  
**2. Yourichi would, when possible, use seahorse powder on Kisuke**  
**3. The one to leave it behind was certainly Kisuke**  
**4. If he hadn't done that, by now he probably would have at least 10 mouths to feed ( he had 6)**

I'm in this region for about tree hours now, and they are already knocking at the front door. I finish the soup I was having with zabimaru and I open the door. One after another, all afternoon, their tiny, pretty faces arrived. They speak of a dream, they want me to help them to reach this dream in two days time. I would, if I could. I knowwho they want, I saw him looking at me from one of the castle balconies this morning. It must have been him, because the morning light reflected in his paler skin almost got me blind. The prince Yourichi told me about, the one they call "The moon". Matsumoto is already spreading the word if these girls think I can help them. She will arrive soon. I give the girls something that might or might not work. If it works I'm glad, the one to work will be glad and the others will be disappointed. But at the same time they will feel renew. They will feel the weigh of their youth (which is none) and be strong to look for more achievable dreams.

Other "type" of girls came trough the afternoon. I gave those advices and some tea herbs. I didn't give them the pleasure they were seeking. One of them was still at the shop when Matsumoto arrived.

"Shuu, shuu, go away, he's mine", well that was enough for the other, a middle age brunette, to go away.

"I see I'm getting you some clients" , she says cheerful

"Yes, but not this type of clients, please", I say to her grinning.

"Oh, too bad, I bet these women would pay well for your ass", she laughs as I turn red, "Have you seen our men? What's the point to have one inaccessible moon to look at; when all the men that want to fuck you are werewolves or something? At her age not even they want to fuck her".

**About Matsumoto:**

**1. She's a bitch  
2. She likes being a bitch  
3. She talks a lot  
4. She talks dirty  
5. She's my new employee about two hours now and she is already speaking of a raise  
6. I just adore her**

I'm explaining to Matsumoto some of the names of my potions when a stern knock hits the door. I know that it's no woman at the other side. I open the door to get notified. Kuchiki Byakuya, the heir prince, _TheMoon_, demands my presence at the palace, for formal introduction. I freeze, the words are simple and formal, but there's a coldness attached to it. I was afraid of this. I bet he is gently asking me to leave his kingdom. I knew it the moment I saw him standing at that balcony. They ask me to follow them. I ask to go inside grab my fur. As I walk inside I ask Matsumoto what to expect. She makes a light movement with her shoulders but she looks worried.

"They say that he doesn't have a heart, that he killed his wife with his bare hands when she couldn't give him an heir", it's all that she can mutter.

I heard that before, that he was married, Yourichi told me. But not such a creepy story. Neither she or Kisuke wanted to talk much about him, they just said I should make my own opinion. I'm making an opinion right now and I shiver. I put the fur over me and I walk vigilant to my faith.

*******

I saw him arriving in the morning. He is a strange man. Here we are all brunette or blonde, most brunette, but his hair is all crimson running from root to rest on his back and shoulders. He is wearing a pink shade fur around his shoulders, over a black tunic. He doesn't wear any hat, but the staff in his right hand gives him away. He's a wizard and I can't help but be mesmerized to the contrast he brings with him. If not for the tan in his skin, if not for his height, that crimson sea under the snow kept us all looking at him.

**Two colours that day**

**Red and white**

Then I saw it! The strange yet familiar chain fixed to his chest, coming out from the fur. It was about a meter long, and it was swinging as he was moving. I looked for the rest of it. The chain was fading at some point but I knew at some point it would get intense, well defined again. He grabbed it with his left hand as he muttered something that looked like

"Stay near me"

And there it was! A nue, a huge magical creature, body of a baboon, paws of a tiger and tail of a snake was walking proud at his left side. At some point both baboon and snake smiled. I could see the people were terrified yet mesmerized. A blond street girl start talking to him and them he smiled and offered her something. He kept heading for Hurahara shop. He will not come here, but I need to know what his intensions are. I need to know if he is really a threat.

****

The palace is huge and cold. There's no richness in it. The walls are straight and empty and the columns merely supportive. There's no space for decorations. The sky is getting darker by the minute and I hear some of the guards speaking of a storm. Thru the open doors I take a faint glimpse of a library, in there the walls are covered with books from the floor to ceiling. A servant closes the door before I can see more of it. I walk to the throne room. Kuchiki Byakuya is sitting in one of the chairs, alone. His alabaster skin his glowing in the dim light as is his white robes. The black hair is adorned with the symbols of his power, the kaseikans. Why doesn't he wears a crown is a mystery to me. Kisuke told me that he only can be a king when he marries again. That was the king, his father, last will. But for all effects he is the king. That's why I kneel before him with my head raised, looking in to his eyes. He looks at me with silver eyes, cold light emanating from them. No wonder they call him _The Moon_. I'm getting lost and mesmerized when he breaks the silent.

"Get up and speak you name wizard"

"Abarai Renji, your majesty"

He nods, still no emotion coming thru his façade. He seems to be wearing a white skin mask.

"Tell me sorcerer, why do you kneel before me when your soul over there does not?"

I freeze for seconds. Did he just? He is still speaking

"Doesn't your soul think that she is herself a king? I can see by the way she stands proud, I could see it in your raised head when you kneeled. What's her name?"

"Wow do you know what she is? Wow do.", I can't speak. He knows. "Baboon king Zabimaru" I whisper.

He looks straight at them and nods. It's all he does. Zabimaru nods back. He looks at me again.

"Abarai Renji, you don't see many people separated from their soul these parts. I'm not going to ask you what you did to deserve that. It must hurt when she goes too far away from you. Just tell me, do you also carry your death around?"

I smile. I knew a person once who did it. I get luckier. "Every person carries his death around", I grin looking into his eyes. He doesn't move a muscle.

**Tree things you carry inside your mortal body:**

**1. A spirit (if you are lucky only yours)  
2. Your soul  
3. Your death**

"Why are you here? " the question that was missing. The true thing he wants to know. I better tell him the true.

"I'm here because of the White Emperor"

Something passes in front of his eyes. It's getting dark outside, so I can't see what is. When I get a clear view of him the mask is again on his face

"The White Emperor? What is that?"

"You know, it's curious that your majesty didn't ask me _who_ is _he_, but _wha_t is _that_. The White Emperor is the last of the White dragons. Some rumours say that he his hidden somewhere in this kingdom, your kingdom. "

Kuchiki Byakuya eyes widened. He could feel surprise after all.

"And what his so amazing about the last of the white dragons that you want to kill him?" he asks, voice sharp as a steel blade.

"Oh not kill him", I smile, "I intend to tame him"

"Tame him?" now a disdain look over his face, "you think you can tame a dragon? I heard about them, they are ferocious creatures, made of fire that will devour you in a second if you go near them"

"That's not what the legend tells about this one. It is said that the White Emperor is a gentle and shy creature to those pure of heart, ferocious and cold as ice to those with dark souls. He is rarely seen, but some people claim that he his white like the snow and that his scales shine in the night sky brighter than the moon. It is also said that he protects the people who live near the place he makes his nest, so he is no threat to this kingdom"

I'm sure I can see a faint smile in Byakuya lips.

"And the meantime? "he asks me, changing subject "What are you going to do? I bet you had already have a few costumers at your shop today"

I nod in agreement and then I smirk "Well, I heard your majesty is throwing a ball so I have a lot of requests"

This time the smile is less faint. He rises up from his chair and goes to the near by window looking outside. The moonlight is now totally reflecting on his face.

"What sort of things can they use?"

"Ah, you see, women like perfume. They are going to wear fragrances that you can not resist, or so I told them. The most I could do was create a potion that when inhaled would make you feel desire for the bearer of such fragrance. Their hopes would be that you sleep with them and got them pregnant. At least if you didn't want them the day after they still would have some rights over your child. "

"Women? Have you look at their faces? They are still children. Do you really think I'm going to take such a creature honour? If what you say would happen I would marry her. "

I feel my eyes open. Is this the same man Matsumoto was speaking about? He must have read my thoughts because he looked at me, a somewhat sad look in his face.

"You can try your best desire spell with them, it won't work on me. Not because of the rumours you will hear about me, but because I was trained to resist most potions, poisons and incantations spells. You better leave your love potions for the street ladies who I'm sure are already paying you visits"

My face goes all shades of red. Does he know that people say he killed his wife? What is he talking about? But he is offending me now.

"I didn't sell them that strong potion I was speaking about, I sell them a different thing, that will make them happier than to be with you. About the street ladies they just need someone to talk to, at least is the best I can offer them. Besides, you are not immune to all poisons, I could poison you, but I won't", I burst out. When I realise to whom I'm speaking he already has a blade pointed at my neck. I grab my staff and the chain of Zabimaru. I don't want to go that way.

"Poison me now if you have the courage, I demand you or I will cut thru you"

I blink, unaware of what he is asking. He wants me to poison him? To try my poisons out? Maybe he thinks that if he shows me that I can't kill him things will be under control. But I know I can kill him. He is not immune to this new kind of poison. I reach into an inner pocket and I handle him a small bottle with a black fluid in it. On the label is written "first love".

He steps back still looking at me and he drinks it. He suddenly moves forward grabbing my vests. His mask has fallen. Now I know he has a heart, because it is breaking. I can't look at such pain in his eyes "Bastard, what have you done to me?" he whispers, as his knees approach the ground. I quickly grab another bottle from inside my vests and pour the liquid inside his mouth. I feel him get calmer and the pain disappear "Hisana", he whispers. I know his secret now, he loved her. If he killed her as they say, I don't even want to think what the poison would have done to him.

He looks at the second bottle. On the label is written "second love". He rises in his feet and turns his back towards me.

"Why did you save me?", he asks me, panting. But he doesn't know. I merely tell him "I didn't want to kill you, that's not why I'm were for"

"Now my enemies will look for you"

"I don't have anything more powerful than this. Now I can't kill you", I assure him.

He turns to look at me.

"I believe you. You may stay. Just tell me, what was this poison?"

"It's not a physical poison", I explain, "this poison searches for your heart, and once inside it bust open the doors that are closed. It's like reopen old wounds that bleed thousands more"

"Why do I feel like this now? Why do I feel…happy?"

I see the bright light in his eyes, he is at peace now. I almost feel ashamed of what I have done to him, but I had to save him. I tell him half truth.

"The second poison gets ride of the other and helps you seal that door, this time close it for good, so you can look back and don't feel pain, only the good memories"

He looks at me and nods again, I guess it's his way of thanking me.

"I have a request for you. You may stay here at Rukongai, but you must make people happier. Look at them; they look full of hopes and dreams in this misery. They deserve a little peace of mind like the one you brought me. Now go."

I nod at him. I can't do it right now. The kneeling I mean. I must know if the things they say about him are true. I need to know what else they say about him. Now that I had a glimpse of the man behind the mask… that I saw _The Moon_ cry…


	2. The walking soul

The nights at Rukongai are so cold that I usually don't sleep during the night, but during mornings. You might think it is a strange habit for a prince, but I have my personal motives. And did I just mention the cold? Good, I don't like repeating myself. I also don't like cold although I'm used to it. You have to be when your kingdom is always covered with a glacier coat. This cold I can handle. It is even desirable. What I couldn't handle was the coldness sting delivered by that poison yesterday. Memories. It's all that's left of my sunny and rainy past. I had shut them away from thoughts, locked my heart for good, put it in a cage of ice so I wouldn't feel the frozen kiss of memories anymore. But that man...that poison...it melted the cage, it busted open all the locks and I could feel again the sting of lost, sorrow, guilt, regret...I can't handle that. He would have killed me with my own memories. But instead he just gave me the cure to my heartache and now I'm only able to remember the warm memories, the ones that speak of the happiness I once felt, the ones that make me want to feel this warm in my chest and make the cold outside even more unbearable. What man holds such power? What kind of black arts does this man know? I've spent the night wondering. Why do I feel this way? Why those names on the bottles? I was too confident about my capacities to deflate sorcery. I put my life at risk and to what purpose? I'm their only hope. Nobody will come to rule this forsaken land. There's no money in the chests. I can't complain, I still have a home, what to eat, what to dress, some luxuries like reading and have attendants and a guard at my service. What can I actually do for them? Sometimes I think they are happier than myself and they would be just fine if left alone. But then I remember the face of this stranger, which speaks of health, warm, joy, happiness and I can't help thinking that they all miss the sun, they all miss smiles in their faces.

Not of course the type of smile the blacksmith of the Real Guard is doing right now as he crosses the inner yard of the palace towards the blacksmithery. He's drunk once again, but no one seems to care. At least today he didn't get another strange tattoo. He's probably trying to forget a certain blonde that is now working for the red haired wizard. The problem is that he is always trying to forget her being with another man. One different man (or several) every night. Hisana was never a lady to give me such trouble. I think about my heart once again before leaving the balcony to go sleep. There's a memory lingering there that I can't quite reach. I frown. What have I done?

****

"Oh shit, shit, shit.", I curse as I prepare breakfast for me and Zabimaru. Well, I don't really "curse", not really or you would see something sparkle, anyway I'm really not that good with curses and spells, and they tend to sparkle in my own face. Not that I care, the staff helps me focus and I'm a magical potion type of wizard anyway. It's like cooking and making tea. I like that. No, I don't have a cauldron, you freaks! I have a tiny boiler which is enough. So...right....I curse. Zabimaru is giving me those cold "I don't know you" stares. I'm lucky it's cold outside or by this time she would have leave me here alone and go as far as she could from me just to make me suffer. I know she doesn't approve.

"Hell, I don't approve either, but what should I've done? He still has three more days! You know I never used it, not even that time", I yell at her. She turns her back towards me. She's pissed at me for using "second love" and she is right. You all must be wondering why I possess a poison originally called with the meaning of my name. Well, Kisuke likes to name things, even if not his creations. I just called it " the poison that it's gonna get me famous", but then it was not a very commercial name. Anyway, five years ago Kisuke was one of the teachers at the magical arts academy "Soul Society". Kisuke was more a man of knowledge than an actual mystic man. His times as a shopkeeper at Rukongai were far behind him. He was fascinated about the transformation of metals and simple materials into noble ones. Yes, he was conducting alchemic experiments. His pursues were good, to get the philosopher stone, end the poverty in the world and maybe have enough money to have more two kids with Yourichi. But he was being watched. By that time I became his assistant. I was good at what he called the lab, but my job was to keep it clean and secured for his own experiments. He repaid me by letting me do my own recherché on potions there. He would say that the search of an alchemist is always a lonely one.

**Things that we manage to do in three years:**

**  
1. Fire  
2. A lot of burn**** stuff  
3. Tea  
4. the ****hougyoku****  
5. First and second love**

Why did I do these potions? I still ask myself. I was looking for my philosopher stone I guess. I was looking of a way to reach the heart of men, to bring mankind happiness and love. I used some old passion potions, happiness potions and a mixture of ingredients that resulted in something that can open your heart for good or evil. Somehow my own findings helped Kisuke focus on the essence of what he planned to achieve, the stone able to make you gain access to your inner soul without getting separated from it.

I was just a poor kid that had managed to pass the admission tests. A kid who lived practically in the building and was set to all kind of tasks, like wash the floors and dump out the garbage. So no one was really paying attention on me. But like I said Kisuke was being watched. Aizen, one of the directors of "Soul Society" wanted hougyoku for himself. When hougyoku was almost finish it disappeared. Neither I nor Kisuke had doubts about who had stolen it. Ah, needless to say that I was the may suspect. When I was held prisoner by the council of souls, Kisuke tried to help me, but Aizen was pulling the right strings and deluding everyone with is charm spells.  
So when a false hougyoku was found at my chambers I had to face one of the death penalty we wizards sometimes face: the walking soul. You may say that I'm still alive, but I'm I really? I feel disconnected, incomplete. I had to face what I am and I can't hide, can't wear masks. I can't pretend I can't walk away. My soul is heavy, she's a mortal like me, when I die she dies for good. I feel this weight on my chest, this materialization of something that should be as light as a snow flake. She walks beside me and she is me, she feels the same, we both share a heart and yet we are two strangers walking side by side.

**My only hope**

**The real hougyoku**

Kisuke says it's not completed yet. It can make you communicate to you soul but you cannot separate from her.

"I'm already separated from my soul", I told him back them, but he just got all mysterious to me and said he can help me to become once again one with my soul. I just need to find the final ingredient to the core of hougyoku: a scale of a white dragon. So here I am in a ball freezing town and I've already got five propositions of sex, made a blacksmith very pissed and drunk by the looks he gave me this morning and already poisoned the prince. Sweet.

"So what I'm I going to do about it?" I continue talking to Zabimaru's butt, "the ball is tomorrow so no warm done don't you think? If he is sleeping the night after tomorrow nothing really bad will happen", I reassure her.

"Are you stupid or what? We still have to guarantee he is sleeping and he was pretty much awake when he spoke with us".

Huh, bet your soul don't call you stupid.

"Who are you talking to Renjjjjjjiiiiiii? "Matsumoto burst in." Ah, never mind boss, I won't tell them you speak to your pet over there. Anyway, I'm late cause that Hisagi gave me another jealous scene this moooorning. Stupid blacksmith can't take his eyes of my boobs. You don't stare at my boobs, ei, wait, why don't you stare at my boobs, its something wrong with then? Maybe you are like the moon!"

I blush hard, and then I catch what she said.

"Like the moon? What do you mean?"

" Dahh, the Prince Byakuya, he doesn't like boobs. Oh, how did it go the interview last evening?"

"What do you mean he doesn't like...huh... boobs?" what the hell is this woman babbling about?

"Oh it's what we say because he just won't marry anyone else and we have to wait to have a king. He doesn't even have an heir, not even a bastard. He doesn't ask for women at the palace....real strange that man if you ask me...but then again you are behaving just like him".

I smile.

"Well I don't like boobs", I tease her.

"I knew it!" she says smiling and we both start to laugh.

I know he loved a woman so what they say can't be true. But he knows what people say about him; this is what he was talking about. I don't know why he is throwing this ball, maybe he still believes he can find someone at these meetings and make the people shut up. He seems a person who believes in true feelings, that will not lightly indulge himself in mere carnal pleasures as most of his subedits would. But I might be wrong. The tales about his deceased wife disturbs the image I made of him wile speaking to him. Is he truly an assassin? If so whose fate did I join with his? Three days...what have I done?


	3. Mercury and Sulphur part 1

**Long time no writting, so this was intended to be a long chapter, but I had to break it, so this turned out to be a short one. Please Review, I'm in need of feedback **

* * *

_Alchemically speaking, the moon represents Silver or Mercury. Usually Mercury is used in its chemical form, quicksilver. I__t indicates volatility or fluidity, by which it is also named 'water of life' or 'root humidity'. __Mercury contains and unifies duality. He is the alpha and the omega. Mercury contains the four elements, thus he is the quintessence.*(1)_

**_By the philosophers I am named Mercurius,_**_**  
**_**_My spouse is the gold (...)_**_**  
**_**_I am dark and light _**_*(2)_

I don't sleep much. A few hours are enough to renew my strength and my will to face another day. Usually I have morningmares about the day Hisana died. I never dream. I need to correct myself, I didn't dream. Today I awake with a strange colour behind my eyes. I remember my dream: a red hot river running thru the snow, melting everything away. The black earth being exposed as the snow melted, me being caught up by the current, the warm touch of that water caressing my skin, heating my heart. My nostrils flare at the touch of a sulphuric smell coming from these waters. The river is rising and I'm approaching the sky. I can see the moon, wait not a real moon, this is the White Emperor dragon dancing in the night sky. He is attracting the red waters toward him, influenciating his currents. Then, he too merges in the hot river, his scales turning blood as they reflect the water. His icy body is being washed by the rushing hotness, but he doesn't make a sound. Instead his substance is mixing with the river creating a second flow of liquid mercury. Red and silver are all around me now and I feel the cold and warm touch of the liquid. I'm not afraid, I am at peace as a word crosses my mind: _Conjunctio_. I know I heard this word before.

A knock on the door. A servant coming in to tell me Rukia is here to speak to me. I hate when she comes by without warning. I knew she would come for the ball, but I wasn't expecting her arrival until tomorrow. I get up from bed and slip into my usual white robe. To meet her means to also meet my Royal Guard commander and her husband, Kurosaki Ichigo. Let's face it, I love Rukia, after all she's Hisana sister, but Kurosaki is a real...he is unbearable. I keep telling him that I don't need his protection, but he keeps putting soldiers and guards at the palace and I'm sure tomorrow evening this place will be crowding with soldiers and annoying ladies. At least Rukia will be here. She has left the palace since Hisana died; I guess she blames me for her death too. But never a word about the subject breaks her lips, and I'm thankful for that.

" I heard you meet the red haired outlander yesterday...alone...", Kurosaki begins to tell me, as his eyes pierce to me, "Don't you think is dangerous to meet strangers alone Byakuya?"

I hate when he addresses me by my first name, so I look at him coldly as I reply:

"Not at all, I can defend myself, I don't need my guards hovering around me, when they can be outside defending the public order".

He smiles. I hate when he does that too. I hate that he cares for my well being when I don't. At least he cares for Rukia well being too.

"Well they are already doing that. Now about the ball you know who's coming. And I strongly suggest that you let me take protective measures. Also about that wizard, Soi Fon found out that he is selling potions to some of the girls that are to attend the ball. The potions seem to be harmless but she's worried that your enemies may attempt to use some of these innocent tricks to convey a real treat. She thinks his powers are greater than what meets the eye and we still don't know why he is here".

"Well he is not here to kill me, I can assure you", I say dryly.

"How do you know? At least let me send some guards to watch his shop tomorrow day and night. I want to be certain of his moves during the preparation of the ball", he asks looking at me with concern on his face.

"Yes, please brother, don't be careless about your personal safety", _like you were with hers,_ I hear her say.

I look at her and brief seconds of silence extend between us. I search for the accusing guilt in her eyes, in my own heart, but there's nothing there. I only find concern in her eyes and peace at my own heart. Why have I tortured myself all this years? Why do I let the infamous rumour about myself spread like a poisonous weed? It was no one fault! Suddenly I'm aware of whom should I tank this peace for and I can't offend once more the man who saved me.

I look Kurosaki in the eyes and I hear the words leave my mouth of they free will:

" You will not do such thing. If you want to keep an eye on his moves you may do it during the ball which he is to attend to".

Kurosaki and Rukia eyes wide in disbelief.

_"_But he is a commoner, with no relation to the guard and noble families!" Kurosaki remembers me, then he grins," And he sure is no debuting young lady to be invited...".

I know he doesn't warn me over prejudice. He knows from were Hisana and Rukia come from and he accepts commoners to do the Real Guard small tasks every day. He warns me because he knows that the noble council of elders is already displeased with the presence of commoner ladies between the debutants this year. They only requested their presence because if only nobility girls were to be present this ball would not take place this year and they want me to social interact with possible wives. But as our population is getting old, this ball is each year more meaningless. But when the prince throws a ball, a traditional one, every lady of the high society must come, and they are crossing there fingers for me to fall in love for one of them. I already know them all and I 'm positive I will never marry one of them out of passion. Not even knowing that since yesterday my heart is light and ready to love once again.

As I give no replay I hear Kurosaki sigh.

"Very well, but I will personally deliver the invitation. I want to access the risks about this guy".

"Do as you wish, but do not offend him with your suspicions".

****

_Inside gold is the alchemical Sun. Inside the Sun is an active substance, sulphur. Sometimes alchemists equal sulphur with the Sun. Sulphur is the spirit of life. Sulphur is of a twofold nature: white and red sulphur. White sulphur is the substance of the Great Work at the phase of Whiteness and red sulphur at the stage of redness__._ *(1)

_**Sulphur, the fiery spirit that vivifies everything*(1)**_

I hear a stern knock on the door just as I'm about to put the last item that come to post this morning. Matsumoto is chatting with one of the few male clients that came by the shop today. I think he was trying to obtain a potion so that his sheep won't freeze to death this winter, but Matsumoto is trying to convince him in taking an aphrodisiac. I feel bad for that guy and I should just intervene, but then again she looks so happy for finally attending clients that I'm just letting her be.

I freeze as I meet the one knocking at the door. A warm smile awaits me in a Real Guard suit full of insignias.

"Hi, I'm Kurusaki Ichigo, the Real Guard Captain, nice to meet you!"

I relax; I know by the sound of his voice he is speaking the truth. Still, I must look confused.

"I'm here to deliver you a invitation on the behalf of Byakuya"

"Hum?" Ok, I'm not confused, I'm gliding on ice, what?

"Eto...I mean, on the behalf of prince Kuchiki", he says apologetically looking at some point in the sky.

I wonder what kind of relationship this noble has with his commander of the guard so he can speak publically his first name. Then he tells me that _The Moon _demands for my presence at the debuting ball with a voice that clearly indicates that he does not agree with that.

But wait…a ball? What the f…ah, I mean, what I'm I supposed to do at such a fancy thing? C'mon I've never been at a "BALL". Why would a prince even consider to invite a street rat like me to…

"So, I'm here also to explain to you the security measures which you must obey", he says defiantly.

I'm still confused, but this starts to sound like an opportunity and the defiant look in this younger man posture is really starting to piss me off!

(1) /houseofthesun/alchemy_  
(2) _Theatrum chemicum_ (1613)


	4. Mercury and Sulphur part 2

I know I have several excuses for taking so long in updating, so…My many thanks for all that waited and send me messages to continue. Thanks Gillome and Missmayfair. I also know this chapter is even more philosophical/mystic than the others but it's important to understand what comes next and the nature of the White Emperor. That said I hope you enjoy and review.:)

_The Sun is the individual soul by __contrast with the spirit, represented by the moon. He is the Red Lion, the Red King. Forming a pair with the moon, the White Queen, the sulphur, the hot, the dry, the masculine, the active is the generating seed. Without the refreshing and humid influence of the moon it can be desert and burn…_

After Ichigo Kurosaki left I feel a notch in my stomach. I only have about 24 hours to prepare an antidote and deliver it to prince Kuchiki at the ball if necessary. The ball is

my only chance to come closer to him and undo what I have done. If you think it easy to reach your philosopher stone and then just make an antidote for it, well, let me tell you, you're wrong! Come on, there's no antidote for the ultimate goal of alchemy. Besides, I have to work thru all the afternoon attending clients and I can't concentrate with all the noise in the store during the day. Fortunely, the hours run quickly and finally Matsumoto says goodbye and I close the front door. I don't have time to eat. I grab my stuff and I spray the containers on the working table. I look at them for about fifteen minutes without moving, just thinking what am I supposed to do.

"Are you gonna stare at that vessels all night, Renji? We really could use some sleep".

"Shut up, you're not helping!" I yell at Zabimaru.

"Why should we help you, you're the one who did stupid things. Besides you know you only reached a portal to first _conjunctio_ at the Great Work and not the stone as you proclaim"

"Yeah, yeah, just shut up already!"

God, they really piss me off. Are they really me? There must be some twist little joke in all creation. But maybe they are right. Strangely, I never wanted to pass to the other stages. I mean, I never wanted to pass thru them alone.

**The**** Classic Alchemy Great Work Seven operations:**

**1. Calcination  
2. Dissolution  
3. Separation  
4. Conjunction  
5. Fermentation**** (Putrefaction)  
6. Distillation  
7. Coagulation**

Well, I never believed in the traditional order of operations because they are for more practical uses than to spiritual ones. Let's see, if I did intend to make gold from rust, yeah, I would go with the classics, but when your goal is the personal transformation and obtaining true love you surely can disrupt this ordeal and valorise _conjunctio_ as your final destination. So I'm not exactly sure about what steps did I take to get there, I just know that when another person drinks Second Love he or she is taken directly to the spiritual operation of _conjuntio_ in three days. If that's the end of it, the hell do I know! That's why I'm worried about what might happen. Some people claim _conjunctio _is the final stage, but others claim that are two distinct conjunctions, an intermediate one and the final one, so how I'm I supposed to know which one I created? Boy, when I achieved First Love I was so sure where I was. In a dark place, right, but still I knew that I had passed _calcinatio _(destruction of ego and attachment to material possessions) and was right in the middle of _solutio _(unconscious process in which our conscious minds let go of control to allow the surfacing of buried material. It is the opening of the floodgates). He was there too thanks to me and I can never forget his beautiful mask torn with released pain. Now that I shattered his mask but immediately offered him the glue, is he still going to wear it or is he going tru _separatio _(letting go of the self-inflicted restraints to true nature, so true personality can shine through)?

I'm not sure if his true personality is something that I should have released but a feeling in my guts tells me that I shouldn't worry about it. But as the deepness of night merges in and I'm still looking at the flasks not knowing what to do, the death of his wife revolves inside my head.

You see, even if I believe I took the classic steps to achieve the potion I gave him, I don't believe the said potion will only carry him to the fourth classical step. Because as soon as he reaches _conjunctio _he will be able to clearly discern what needs to be done to achieve lasting enlightenment. So basically I don't know where to put the stick to stop the wheel.

"And you never went tru _putrefactio_…cause you are afraid, ne Renji?"

_**It is like a swinging door**_.

**This melancholic state is so powerful**

**that, (…)it can attract demons to the body,**

**even to such an extent**

**that one can get into mental confusion or get visions.**

**Agrippa**

"Baka, of curse! I'm afraid of what I may discover about myself! Don't you know it's a second fire, a second doom even more potent than_ calcinatio?_ What are you suggesting? That I go thru it all alone and create a second poison based on fermentation to end the effects of second love? I don't want to kill him!"

"But he doesn't need to die, _putrefactio_ is a rebirth, not a killing!"

"So you want him to find his purpose in life alone? How does that solves our problem! That's still interfering. And did you considered the side effects? What if I can create a shit so strong that even if it doesn't kill him, he starts having visions? Hey, don't turn me your butt again!"

"You're just afraid…"

"I'm…"

But then I freeze unmovable as I look at the window. A huge and beautiful mercury eye is occupying the entire window frame and looking straight at me. For an infinite second I forget to breath. For the other infinite second that he realizes that I saw him, he blinks his white eyelid with his long black eyelashes. And then the White Emperor is gone.

I run outside and I hiss as the darking cold surrounds me. The streets are empty at that hour of the night, just as you might expect it to be. There are no signs of the great magical creature I saw poking at my window. I hear human footsteps running, but when I reach the corner of the street all is peaceful and quiet.

He is gone…

Not even a single scale forgotten on his way. A scale is all I need, all I want from him.

I go back inside. Zabimaru is looking at me like if I drunk sake and did something stupid…again. She clearly didn't see him. All my clear thought went to the clouds. How can I work now? But I have to wonder…if he is watching me, then it will be easier than I thought to make contact. I never expected his eyes to be that …emotional, although I'm not sure what kind of emotions he was displaying wile observing me. I no longer feel the hunter, I'm feeling his prey. He is studying me and I'm in no condition of doing the same. I should be afraid but his attention flatters me. I'm crazy, I should be shaking to the ground, and he's a dragon, for all the vitriol sake. But the pace of my heart is not one of fear, but expectations.

_The melancholy, introverted Moon Queen holds the reins to a great fish, symbolizing her control of those same hidden forces that threaten the King (…). _

I'm not sure what makes me wonder about his affairs. Never a soul in this kingdom could make me drop a book to come into the balcony in the middle of the night and stare. It's the same drive that made me invite him to the ball. I must be out of my head; because I'm breaking conventions over conventions and I simply don't care anymore.

I need to know what he's up to. Although I no longer see him as a direct treat there's something in his purposes here that concerns me. The light is on for just about two hours now and he opens the shop early. So what's keeping him from resting? Too much requests of love potions from the debutants this year? No, it's not it.

I start to feel that he didn't tell me the whole truth about what he gave me. Although my heart has all the doors closed and it's at piece, there's an expectation accord playing low, an accord that I can't quite understand or reach. It's not a worried one though. It speaks of good things that are about to happen. Good things…aren't they all fleeting birds that leave you with nothing but broken feathers? It almost seems as he also gave me…hope…and restlessness. And the will to be again what I truly am.

So many years passed since I was truly myself for the last time. So many years from the last time I felt pride in my own blood. Thanks to this stranger I no longer feel ashamed of what I am or of what happened. But I won't risk the same to happen ever again. So how can I feel hope?

I look at the moon. It's a crescent moon today, almost turning full moon but not quite. There are no stars and a kind lazy snow is falling. There's only another source of light on this cold night, a red fire pouring thru the window of the sorcerer. Like as if he is always speaking of warm and flames. A rush of wind touches my hair, making it swirl and dance. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I feel the wind on my face and on my body…

I open my eyes and make my way into my bed. I lay awake, but I don't move.


	5. Albedo

_Tuki Ito (handle wrap, usually coloured, of a katana)_

* * *

_'We are such stuff as dreams are made of; and our little life is rounded with a sleep.'  
Shakespeare_

"_I was not afraid to die, but to die without having been enlightened"  
Comte de Saint-Germain  
_

As I wake up to a new day, the vision of the previous night still lingers in the back of my mind. To be so close to a magical beast, one of such proportions and to feel…what? Emotions? Human kindness? I'm not really sure. But I do know that I wasn't able to create anything to counteract Second Love. Now, as for the day that starts I'll be busy with the deliveries that are to be made and potions of last hour. Hopefully everything will get quieter in the afternoon, when the girls will get themselves prepared for the ball.

As I try to step outside the room I notice the green leaves on the door frame and on the window. I inwardly sigh. This will not be necessary, or at least I hope not.

"Zabimaru, what are you doing?"

"Protecting us from the creature we felt last night" the snake part cheaply responds.

"So you felt him? How? But you claimed you didn't see him!"

"Well, we are a soul not a human; there are a lot of things you don't understand with your two neurons. But we still need to protect you and ourselves."

I let the offensive slip away. I take a look at the leaves of Peridexion. According to the legend dragons really hate this stuff.

"I'm trying to get near him, not to scare him away, what part didn't you understand of our motive to come to this forsaken land? Take the branches of the door and windows. Now!"

"Why don't you take them off yourself? You don't seem to have the notion you are dealing with the Emperor of the white dragons…white! Not silver, not copper, but white! And what you said about his eyes just proves that all the myths about them are probably true. So when you get well accommodated in his mountain refrigerator don't complain to us about being his next frozen meal!"

Ah man, I really need to find that dragon scale and get a time off from my soul. Before I came here I had a plan to create a potion to attract this creature and cast a spell on it so I could retrieve the scale. But before I knew he was looking outside my window and I was thinking on doing a potion not for him but for the prince, who I poisoned. This frozen weather really turns your priorities upside down. Truth is, I wasn't sure Kisuke claims were real, but now that I saw him with my two eyes I really need to work out a plan to meet him again.

* * *

The day passed quickly as expected. The night of the year I usually most expect and fear is approaching with large steps and I can't help but feeling I made a terrible mistake. Again and again I will have to look to teenager faces, full of hopes and dreams and to tell them, by the end of the night, that the dream is over, that they will not marry a prince and get out of their commoner lives. I really should end this, to tell the elders I don't intend to marry anyone else. But this is the one time of the year that the palace is full of life and warm. And I'm selfish enough to not let go of that.

The night is claiming the land and the guests are already arriving. The servants enter my room with the formal clothes a person of my position must wear. To their dismay Rukia pokes in after them.

"You aren't ready yet, nii-sama? All the ladies are waiting for you at the throne room. Pretty ladies…" she blinks me an eye.

I look at her unmovable and she sighs. Then she looks at the clothes disposed on top of the bed.

"You are going to look so beautiful in these clothes! I think some of the ladies may actually faint…" she's on her dreamy Cinderella mode right now. I can tell because her eyes are gleaming just the way they were in her weeding day.

"They are meant to be formal not to make me look beautiful. And now if you will excuse me…"

She stares at me as if she missed something. Then her eyes wide with realization.

"Oh right, you were about to get undressed" she giggles. I love when she does that. "Sorry, I'll see you later then". And she's off.

One of my elderly attendants lets a small sigh escape. I have to suppress myself a small giggle. That's what she does to me. Why did I let her marry that brash Kurosaki Ichigo and go away from me?

* * *

"Shit, we're late"

Zabimaru gives me the it's your entire fault look as she disappears into the gardens as planned. Kurosaki Ichigo snorts as I approach him at the front gates.

"So much for discreetly. You were supposed to be here with that baboon before the guests arrived. Fortunely you are so late that everybody is already inside. That way they won't see your pet sneaking thru the gardens"

"She's not my pet!" I look at him defiantly.

"I understand that much. Otherwise I wouldn't see the point of bringing it with you. I just don't know what she truly is…yet. Soifon!"

He calls a little young woman from his side. I startle as I hadn't realize she was there all the time.

"Are they cleared?"

She gives me a cold look and brings a black gem to my face. I feel my magic energy being drawn to the gem and my knees getting weaker. Suddenly she hides the gem.

"They're clear" she states like she was reporting the weather and then she disappears inside the gates.

"Well then, you may go inside. Just don't forget any shoe on the way out. It happens every year and it's really troublesome." He grins.

This guy really pisses me off. But I'm in no position of a confrontation with the captain of the royal guard so I just give him my best go fuck yourself look as I step inside. I'm thinking that is actually a good thing that I wasn't able do to any antidote and bring it with me. Something tells me that the little black gem is a magical eye that can detect spells and enchantments of any kind and great level. It's good to know that the Moon has this kind of protection within his reach. Unfortunely these kinds of gems only work at close range and the one I saw is probably the only one available.

My line of thought is interrupted by the voices, music and lights at the throne room. It's amazing the transformation of the place. Unlike the first time I was here, today you can almost feel warmth coming out from the illuminated walls. Everyone looks happy, drinking and laughing. As a servant removes my fur I can't help but notice the shear contrast between the dresses of the noble girls and the ones of the commoners. It's clear that although the later were invited for the party they do not have the right to mingle with the high class ladies. Nevertheless a few gentlemen are among them and I fear there's more about their intentions than what meets the eye. I notice then, while the servant struggles with me to remove my navy blue cloak, that the ladies eyes are all fixed upon a tall, slender figure.

He is wearing black long boots over silk black large pants. A white fur mantle with no sleeves ends where the boots begin. It rests proudly on his shoulders, connected in the front by small intertwined golden bone pieces at the level of his chest. A black silk shirt is almost hidden by the mantle but the end of the sleeves as well as the collar make a drastic contrast with the white of the mantle and the white of his skin. The _tuki ito _of his katana at his waist is the only piece of colour. His raven hair shines in the candle lights, fixed in place by the kenseikans. He turns as if he senses my gaze upon him. Dark grey eyes pierce thu me and start walking in my direction.

**Two colours that night**

**Black and White**

It seems that the others take notice on my arrival at the same time as he does. As he walks in my direction a strange silence fills the room and I feel all their gazes upon me. Some familiar faces look frightened at me, probably afraid that I'm here to reveal the secret about their potions. Other nobles look amused just as expecting me to be through out. He walks and looks at me as he might do just that. I remove my wood as he approaches, our eyes locked. I can feel his power roar in every step, in every stance, in every look. He is still wearing a mask, but he seems more proud and regal than ever. My heart pounds in my chest as I can't comprehend his behaviour. If for a wizard like me to be invited to the palace is already an honour, to have the prince walking in my direction as I enter the room is something my poor heart can't fathom. I wonder for a second if an important noble is just behind me, but they wouldn't be staring if that was the case. I then remember that I should bow, but my body is paralysed and won't respond to my commands.

"What seems to be the matter?"

His dark velvety voice breaks the silence and I notice that he's no longer looking at me but at the short servant by my side. The said servant humbly bows before declaring in a faint voice:

"I'm sorry prince Kuchiki. This…gentleman refuses to remove his cloak, sir."

"Then you shouldn't be bothering him. He's my guest and he wears what he seems fit. Besides nobody goes for a walk in the gardens with me without proper clothing. Don't you think, Thoushiro?"

The white haired man snorts while closing his eyes and adjusting my fur against his chest, his arms folded in resignation.

"It is as you say, my lord. This gentleman will be in need of his garments. I'm sorry for my mistake, sir."

I can help but smile at the hint of defiance in his voice. He bows but he is no puppet. Then I notice the amusement in Byakuya Kuckiki eyes. He is not mad at the servant; he is just playing his little show for the spectators. I realize that he likes servants with guts and brains as I compare Thoushiro with Kurosaki and Soifon. This prince keeps surprising me every time. Behind that mask he is not anything that you may think or expect a prince to be, but at the same time the power radiating from him makes you be sure of what material he his made of. The mental image I get is that of a king going to battle in front of his troops. A king willing to die in order to protect. A king I would proudly follow into battle just as I follow him right into the gardens…

* * *

I'm tired of all the looks and stares upon me. After the formal presentations and politic talk I try to stay near Rukia and a few nice cousins from the south. I like to feel this palace breath just like the old times when my parents were alive, to hear the music playing and people laughing. In the last years though, this has been a nostalgic evening to me. The lack of her presence among the ladies has been almost unbearable. This year, after my heart was soothed, I was hopping for things to be different. Not to feel alone and empty. Not to feel that a part of me was missing. It's not exactly the same. I'm no longer sad or nostalgic and if things remain this way it's just fine with me. I can be happy this way. But I can't help feeling that things could get better.

Rukia looks over my shoulder and I gain awareness of a burning gaze rested upon me. Although the room is warmer than the other nights I feel it burn as I meet the bearer of said gaze. My heart races madly in my chest as I take the first steps towards him. The stranger is wearing a large and long blue navy cloak. The sleeves are large and the tissue is silky and light adjusting lazily to his chest. His large wood is still on, partially shading his features. He is looking at the now silent crowd. I doubt what I'm doing for brief seconds before his eyes intertwine with mine and he pulls off the wood. And I no longer know if it's day or night as his loose long red hair shines in the candle lights. It's no longer the untamed mane of his arrival or the fastened ponytail that he wears while working. He braided it on the sides and let the rest fell loose and silky on his back. I casually admonish Toushiro, one of my most faithful servants, before I turn towards the gardens. I'm suddenly in desperate need of fresh air.


	6. The dance of the sun and the moon

_"Off balance I find love the only place to fall"_

_"You said funny but I feel like I've known you all my life"_

_Taupin_

He is turned on his back, contemplating the garden as I catch the distance after him. I can't dismiss the feeling that I missed something. Contrary to my expectations it's warm inside the garden. I realize amazed that there's no snow between the trees and plants. It looks and smells almost like spring in the South. A few coloured leaves still linger by the sakura trees, just as if they are trying to hold on the winter, to make it to stop. I'm trying to comprehend how this is possible when his voice fills the silence.

"You can't see it at night but the garden has actually a glass rooftop. Hisana, my late wife, created it so she could have a place for her delicate plants and Sakura trees. You will notice that the ground is covered with white stones from the coast, so that the heat from the sun can be stored during the day and released during the night…"

"Much like the culture of grapevines…"

He turns surprised.

"Yes, indeed." A shy smile brushes his lips. Then he turns again to face the gardens.

"Well, the garden is beautiful." I try to break the silence. "I want to thank you for inviting me. I never…I wasn't sure of what to wear…I'm sorry for all the fuzz right now, prince Kuchiki"

He turns to look at me, brows frowned.

"What's a party without a little fuzz Abarai Renji? Besides I see no harm in your clothing."

I have to grin.

"That's good, cause this is indeed my best cloak, the wood is not even spiky!" I laugh.

I can see amusement in his eyes as my joke sinks in.

"Yes, spiky scares people" he shrugs "especially Toushiro…" Again a shy smile on his lips. Then his expression darkens suddenly "I though you would feel better out here, it must hurt to be that far away from your soul…"

"A bit, I can handle this distance. But I would be the happiest man alive if I could somehow connect with her again."

"I see. So where is she?"

"Yes, where is she? Please do tell us Abarai Renji!"

"Well, well, if isn't our little thief!"

I feel the blood froze completely in my veins as they step out into the garden. Aizen Sosuke and Ichimaru Gin, the ones who framed me. So that was the impression that escaped me in the throne room. What the fuck are they doing here?

"Prince Byakuya you seem to be aware of this man's dead penalty…did he also tell you what he did to deserve it?" Aizen is wearing his friendly face. God, does someone still believes him?

"It's none of my business" my host declares, monotone.

"Well, that's intriguing. But forgive us for interrupt, we just decided to check on an old friend" How can Aizen possibly smile?

He is turning away when I finally regain my senses.

"I'm no friend of a traitor Aizen Sosuke!" I burst out.

He slowly turns back, a very sad, fake look on is face.

"Ah, what a pity, after all these years you are still lying and insisting on your innocence.

I was hopping we could put all our differences behind us. I was even willing to forgive the fact that you stole something from me since you already paid your sentence."

"You were the one stealing from Kisuke! Cut the act!" I need to stay calm; I can't face a direct confrontation, not right now.

"My, my Aizen. Is this really the poor little boy that you found that rainy day sweeping the gutter for food?" Gin smiles me.

Outch! That…was…low…If my face wasn't already flushed by the hanger, I'm sure they would see me blush. The Moon is looking at me and for brief moments I see something in his eyes. Please don't let it be pity, rather disdain than pity, please.

"That is enough, Sosuke." He says coldly, without rising is voice. The mask is on.

"Very well, I don't want to cause embarrassment to our host. Please, once again forgive us Kuchiki-sama. But if a friend may give you an advice, you shouldn't take too long getting inside. The ladies must be wondering why one male is enjoying the night view with our prince, rather then one of them" Aizen bows retreating.

"Is that so Aizen? Do you think they are aware of Renji's preferences?" Gin drops it casually as he disappears inside.

That…snake…

www

You must be wondering why I didn't defend him. It's not that simple. I don't have to explain it to you…but I guess its fine. Aizen and Gin are probably my worst enemies. Ones that won't try to hurt me on my face but on my back. I need to be careful and maintain them at reach. Yes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. In this particular matter I think Aizen and I are alike. Other than that I like to believe we are worlds apart. Of curse it bothers me to see other people being dragged to our _rivalry_, but I doubt if this episode has anything to do with me. First of all there seems to be a _rivalry _between Aizen and the redhead that surpasses our own. At least on Renji side. But maybe Aizen is just being mean and using Renji to reach thru me. It is…painful to see this proud, regal looking man, be crush to the ground with viperine words. Why didn't he put up a more eloquent defence? And then I know it's because of me! The truth strikes me like a meteor and I realize that the one they are claiming to be a gut rat, a street dog, is the one man with more sense of formality and etiquette among the three.

If he is really a thief I do not know, and I should care. But I wonder how can a thief walk in such a dignified manner? Have such a cocked hat? He isn't arguing back at them because he is at his host house. And he believes these men are my friends, so he doesn't want to offend me or make a nasty scene. I wonder briefly if he is just afraid of me, that I might throw him out of Rukongai. But our previous experience with the poison denies it. It's just merely…respect. He is being mocked, he is shacking to the ground, his fists and teeth are clenched, his usually soft and gentle eyes are burning with a rage I can almost feel on my skin and yet…he stands respectful to me! I look at him with admiration, with respect, with…pride, but I realize too late that not being one accustomed to show emotions I might not have convey that. He probably just thinks I despise him…

"That is enough, Sosuke." I hear myself saying.

To my relief Aizen decides to retreat, not with first throw despicable warnings. Gin just follows him as always, dropping a line that clings to my hears

"Do you think they are aware of Renji's preferences?"

Renji's preferences. Preferences, preferences…that should tell me something if Gin dropped it like that. Preferences…OH…I…I see…My eyes must have shown my surprise because I realize Renji is turning away blushing and saying in a broke yet defying voice

"Guess I must be going now. Thanks for the invitation."

I…I wasn't expecting that. I…I do feel a bit dizzy…I don't have prejudices…after all Soifon…

"And where do you think you are going…Abarai Renji?"

wwww

His cold, full of authority voice stops me on the tracks. I don't turn. I don't want him to see my face right now. I'm not ashamed of what I am, of what I was or of what I feel. I've settle these things long ago. But to feel his despise on me was…I can hardly breath and my chest is hurting. I… Why am I feeling this right now? I have to get away from him. I take another step.

"You are forgetting your place, sorcerer. No one leaves my presence without I saying so"

Oh boy, that ton of voice is really starting to piss me off. I turn slowly, a forced smile on my face.

"But of curse, your…highness. Whatever you say…"

He looks at me with narrowed eyes. Now I've done it, he's going to kill me! Better, he'll send someone kill me. Don't wanna touch those pretty long fingers on a trash like me. Wow…what? What I'm I thinking?

"Can I go now?"

"No, you can not…" A softer tone. That's better. He sighs. "…look, I'm not Aizen friend, in fact he's my enemy. You shouldn't let him get to you. But I'm thankful that you kept it quiet in order not to ruin the party…"

He looks at me with those liquid mercury eyes and I can truly see gratitude in them. I sigh in relief and let an honest smile slip thru.

"I'm sorry, I though…I'm glad you aren't friends"

I see again a shy smile enlighten his features. My heart starts beating again.

"Although none of my business I would like to hear your story when you have the time. And if you are willing to tell me, how you and those two got acquaintance. I need to get back inside now. Maybe if you could wait…"

His voice isn't demanding now. It's my choice to wait or leave.

"Yeah, I'll wait here with Zabimaru."

Finally an open smile finds its way to his lips and my heart betrays me by skipping one beat.

"In that case allow me to get you some food and drinks, you must be hungry"

Ah, he just said the magic word: food. Zabimaru pops out from nowhere like the world is about to end soon. I have to laugh.

"Yes, WE are hungry, thank you!"

"I see" He smiles openhearted "Soifon…"

Huh! What the hell…where the fuck did she come from? I can't believe she was behind him all the time!

"Soifon, tell Thoushiro to bring the items and to lead my guests to the hidden bower"

For brief moments I can see surprise in the woman's eyes. Then she just folds her arms and descends her eyelids.

"I'm not in good terms with the midget"

"Oh…midget" there's amusement in the prince's voice. The woman eyebrows twitch as she looks at him defiantly

"By midget you mean short stature as yourself, Soifon?"

"Fine! I'm going!"

The _Moon_ nods at me one last time and the two part different directions. I'm about to turn to Zabimaru when I realize the white haired boy is already at my side with a basket.

"Wow, you're fast! How did you…"

"Follow me." And he starts walking deeper into the gardens. Guess he isn't much of a talker, ne?…

After a few minutes Thoushiro stops in front of a vine covered wall and pushes a hidden button amidst the foliage. To my surprise the wall slides easily without a sound allowing us passage to a secret trail. I gap unable to rationally absorve the beauty of this place. There are pink sakura trees around a central circular bower made of intertwined iron bars and vines. Protected by the bower there are three semi-circular benches were we sit looking to a central tiny and delicate stone fountain. This place speaks of time-less times and peace. And once again I have to wonder about the secrecy of this place…

wwwww

The ball is finally over and once more I had to face parting sad smiles and down sided shoulders. No wonder they despise me enough to propagate the stories about me. I stayed away from Aizen and Gin most of the night, but was not ignorant of their devious smiles towards me. If I had any doubt about who started the rumours I no long have it. I wonder for a second if Renji heard the rumours too. If he thinks that…I shake my head as Rukia hugs me goodnight.

"Are you staying?" I ask amazed.

"Yes, nii-sama. Ichigo says he isn't going home with that "freaking baboon and spooky king of the fairies" still out in your gardens. He is worried about your safety."

Ichigo Kurosaki and his bewilderment capacity to tag everything. I let a forced breath escape.

"That wasn't necessary but I'm glad you'll be staying"

She smiles at me.

"He is quite…something. I would say beautiful, but the word is too small for him, isn't it?"

I blink at her. Is she talking about her husband?

"Who are you talking about Rukia?"

"The spooky king of the fairies." She giggles. "But don't tell Ichigo I told you this. Well, good night nii-sama!"

I didn't intend to have that sort of conversation with my captain of the guard. I…

"Good night Rukia" I smile at her and then I make my way into the gardens.

It was a brash thing to send him here, to my most inner refugee. But somehow it felt the right place to get to know him more…if he is willing to tell me anything, that is…I feel my heart rest in place as I leave the world behind and enter my private garden. A giggle almost escapes my throat at the scene before me. Renji is stubbornly trying to get a word from a very why_ I'm_ I here_Toushirou and Zabimaru is soundly asleep at Renji's feet, drooling. More so I have to control myself as the redhead stiffens when he sees me, kicks violently his soul and bows towards me as an apology. Toushirou has already leaved us alone.

"A man with a soul of a king shouldn't bow to a prince Abarai Renji" I offer in peace.

At first he doesn't seem to get what I'm saying, then his fiery eyes wide dangerously in surprise and his cheeks tinge in a faint shade of red. For a moment he reminds me of a fragile little boy whose self-esteem was regained thru the words of the eldest senpai. Then the self-made man cuts loose in the form of a devious grin.

"Even if these soul kings like to drool in their sleep?"

"Baka! You drool when you sleep too!" Both parts of Zabimaru yell at him. I can't control myself anymore. I have to laugh.

wwwwwww

What an embarrassment! I swear, one day I'm going to commit suicide and kill Zabimaru. Just when the _Moon_ was saying something nice! I should feel a little stupid right now but I'm a little mesmerized by the sound of a crystalline laugh. Then a gentle smile asks me to sit down and tell him my story. Ah, that's right, my story. No need to tell him about my childhood or apprentice times. I tell him everything about Kisuke work and mine but I hide the facts about Second Love. Then I tell him everything about Aizen treachery. I explain to him that the houjyoku Aizen stole isn't complete, that he will need a white dragon scale in order to complete it. But I can't tell him that I have another houjyoku and that I'm also in the pursue of such scale. I don't lie when I actually say that I don't know what the device truly does.

"So you see, I panicked when I saw Aizen and that foxy bastard, because that means the White Emperor is in danger! You need to help me protecting him!" I'm surprised at the despair in my voice and the odd look Prince Kuchiki gives me.

"You…want to protect a dragon? The same you were going to…tame?" There's a slight curtain of mockery on his words.

"Is Aizen we are talking about. He will not leave a source for other scales available. He is going to sleuther that beautiful creature! Of curse I will protect him, although I fail to see how…" I trail off.

"Beautiful you say…That means someone actually has seen the White Emperor here at Rukongai?" He smiles faintly.

Shit. I talk too much.

"Yeah…I…look you are going to protect him right? He is not a treat to your kingdom…"

"I can assure you I will not let Aizen kill him or get a scale or something of the sorts. But I strongly advise you not to tell people about the dragon existence if you want him safe. He is safer if he continues to be just a myth."

I grin. I have to. I never expected to be so easy to talk this thru.

"Renji, may I ask you if you ever considered if a scale can't be collected without hurting the dragon?" There's true concern in his voice that warms me.

"Yeah, I though about that. Why? It isn't like he is going to bleed to death just because of a scale right?" I say lightly, but there's a burden of a ton wrapped around my heart.

The _Moon_ closes his eyes and gets up turning his back to me.

"I see. Thank you for telling me your story. Now I know what Aizen is up to. But is you the one that should be careful. He knows now you are here. He is going make sure you don't mess with their plans."

"Yeah, don't worry, I'll be fine." Again I feel warmer inside. Is he really concerned about my well being? Then a cold shiver runs down my spine. Crap, what have I done to him?

"Prince Kuchiki can I please ask you one more thing before I go? Will you please not ask me why I ask you this?" I beg desperately.

He locks our eyes as if reading me. For seconds that look like an eternity I feel myself drowning in mercury reflecting magma. I swear I have butterflies flying free inside me. Then he just nods.

"I ask you…no, I beg you, don't leave your room tomorrow in the space of four hours centred at 7 PM. Please…ask someone to lock you in or something and please be all alone during those hours. It's very important that you do as I say."

"So tomorrow the potion you gave me will take its final effects?" He asks coldly.

I…how can he know? He knows? I mean…I'm in deep shit.

"I…yes…I'm sorry…was the only way to save you" I manage to whisper.

"What will happen if I don't follow your instructions?"

"You will have a feral desire to…reach _conjunctio _with a person that you will see in those four hours"

"_Conjunctio_? I'm not familiar with…"

"Hey, you nodded! No questions, ok? Please promise me you will just do as I said! If you do that the potion will not complete the effect, I promise you! "Should I really be addressing him this way? Where are my basic instincts? Like self preservation for instance.

He frowns for large seconds, then his features soften and he smiles openheartly.

"Very well. I'll do as you say Abarai Renji"

And I so much want to kiss him right now. Wow, right, so…That's it, that's why I'm so stressed about the potion! I'm not really worried about the faiths of the person that might come across his path tomorrow. I know that even if the worst happens, in the end he will do the right thing and fix things up with that person. And I know with all my heart that he is not a killer, although I still need to know the facts behind the rumours. No. What I'm worried about is that this person is not…me. I could ask him to see me in those four hours but that would be cheating his heart and mine. Maybe if I could plant a seed in his heart today…If I just had the boldness to reach out and kiss him on this beautiful night…

"Is something wrong Renji?" his soft voice awakes me from my reverie.

I shake my head. Nothing is wrong when the world tells you what your place is. A commoner has no rights over a prince's heart.

"Renji, let's go!" Zabimaru warns me.

I kneel on the sandy grass before him. "Thank you for this night, for the food, for listen to me, for your kind words…for forgiven me. Thank you!"

He slowly moves to the entrance of the bower. As he passes me, a pristine hand drops on my shoulder and as faint as a summer wind he whispers

"I should be the one knelling to you…" And then he is gone.


	7. First Conjunctio

**Please don't kill me after reading this chapter lol. Things will get darker. Reviews are welcome and help me write faster, cause I feel more preasured to write next chapter :)**

**XXXX**

_The physical and sexual union at this stage of the dance is like one's first love –it is idealized and concretized and evaporates after the projections onto the opposite sex are destroyed or the honeymoon ends. But it is the first sense of a conjunction/union and a person's first experience of a possible wholeness and reunion with the One. __1)_

_The union of the Logos Self with the Eros Self, hidden in the deepest realms of the unconscious __2)_

_x_

When you're having beautiful dreams you don't want to wake up. You want to stay in that magical garden watching the sakura petals fall. You want to continue forever looking into that dark grey eyes looking at you…

"Rise and shine sleepy red head!" I wake to the giggles of Matsumoto worrying me to get up.

I open one eye to realize she is practically hovering over me.

"Hey, just leave me alone. I'm the boss here, I can wake up late!"

"Fine, but just look what I found outside! I guess someone left it there for you. It's a present from an admirer, I'm sure of it!" she squeals while blinking one eye.

I consider for the first time the package she's been holding. A tiny box with my name written across the brown paper in a very beautiful letter. I take it carefully from her hands.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?"

"Yeah , sure, as soon as you leave the room!" I tease her.

"Oh , c'mon, you're being mean! I want to know what your secret admirer gave you!" she pouts.

"Get lost already!" I yell playfully at her.

She gives me one last disappointed look and then she giggles and disappears into the shop. I look for brief moments at the package and then I open it. My heart stops when I see what is inside.

**A white dragon scale!**

With shaky hands I grab the shiny piece and stare at it in owe for nearly half an hour. I guess Zabimaru is just as lost as I am because she just stands looking at it with me. The scale is pentagonal and shaped like a teardrop. One of the faces is smooth and cold like glass but the other face, probably the inner face, is smooth and harm like velvet.

"What the hell…" I finally manage to say.

"Who…do you think it was the dragon himself? Kisuke? "

"No, Kisuke would have sent a message with it. I don't know, this is just…"

"A blessing?" Zabimaru smiles.

"Yeah. I guess…But what to do now? Kisuke just told me to when I found one to put it inside the hojioku. Guess I should try it…"

" I suppose…"

I run for the closet and open a secret compartment inside. I never expected this day to come so soon! To complete this damned creation out of nowhere. I open the hojioku and place the scale in its core. I wait holding my breath for something shiny to happen, but then…nothing!

"Shit, this thing doesn't work!" I yell.

"_Humph! What to expect from Kisuke?" _Zabimaru declares, apparently also disappointed.

"You are being unfair" I turn. "Hum? Zabimaru? Where the hell did you go?"

"_Baka, why are you yelling?"_ she speaks loud and clear on my mind.

"Stop playing games, I can hear you! Tell me where you are!" I demand a bit irritated.

"_Where I should always be, with you_…" again Zabimaru's voice resonates inside me.

"We're connected again? But…I can hear you!"

"_Yeah, stop saying that. It's annoying_"

"But I couldn't hear you before! Before the walking soul procedure I mean." Ok, I'm a little bit confused right now.

"_Well, this seems to be a different state. But we can know again what you are feeling and thinking, Renji! We are complete again_!" She speaks happily to me.

I feel my heart fill with joy as I hear my soul's words and laughter. I inevitably laugh with them.

"Yeah, I'm glad our nightmare is over. But man, it's going to be a pain to hear you all the time…but what a blessing not having to look at your ugly face anymore!" I tease. "Hey, stop that! I didn't know you could mentally kick me."

"_So that you know, idiot! And why didn't you kiss that man last night Renji? We weren't sure, but now we can see that you love him…"_

"Shut up! I don't want to talk about that. And you know why I didn't do it anyway, so why ask? God, you just love annoying me!"

Great, suddenly I think I got prone to headaches…

Xxxxx

I spent the day shaking. Although I'm not one to indulge in fear, the matters of the heart shake me to the ground and now that my heart is again open I fear what might come in. I decided earlier to make a quick search on the library about the word _conjunctio_. Apart the chemical process and the dubious metaphorical meaning to alchemists I found the concept rather harmless except…except for the part speaking of physical union…

That's why I decided earlier to ask Toushiro to lock me up in my room, despite how strange all situation sounds. But as the hours pass, a strange yet familiar feeling is pouring thru. At first it was similar to what I've felt last night when I saw the sorcerer enter the throne room. But as it grows, bit by bit stronger, it's even more different from the feeling I was left when Renji departed last night. As I lay on the bed feeling and hearing my blood rushing thru my veins, faster and faster, I realize with dread that what I'm feeling is becoming more animal by the minute. What did he say? A feral desire to _conjunctio! _Does this mean its happening? But I didn't meet anyone. Is it possible that he miscalculated the time? Because the person I want to…I mean I…I try to push this bad…lascivious thoughts out of my head but they keep returning to me. Crimson hair fills my line of vision and I frenetically brush my eyes to get ride of that colour. As the time stretches I can even smell him. What is this? What have that bastard done to me?

I start to believe he trick me. He put me under a spell to have me fall in love with him. No, it's not just love. I believe it was yesterday, but today is also… a carnal, sweet melting desire to have him, to consume him in every possible way. I need to control myself, the same can't happen again. Not again please! If he is the responsible for my state maybe he deserves no better, but…No, I need to stop this before is too late. Am I so weak that the poison will prevail? I feel Senbonzakura approaching…

"Please, no…" I murmur.

"I want to eat him! Let me Byakuya!"

Xxxxxx

Is dark outside and Matsumoto just left a few moments ago. I'm on the back room wondering if he will do as I told him to. I can't have guaranties. And I may never know. A cold feeling is revolving inside me, just like the one I felt last night, the one that finally forced me to ask him to stay in his room. I don't want for him to be with anyone else. But I want him to be happy and I know we are worlds apart. Plus, I have another problem to deal with. Now that Zabimaru is apparently gone Aizen will know that I reversed the walking soul process and that I have the hogioku. I should have departed as soon as I completed Kisuke'stone this morning, but I can't leave without knowing that the _Moon_ is alright. Besides, it still bothers me not knowing who send me the scale and what happened to the White Emperor. I need to know that this… partial completion I'm feeling is not due to a creature sacrifice. I intend to stay in Rokungai despite the consequences. That's why I immediately send a message to Kisuke this morning, asking him to come.

I'm thinking about all this when suddenly Zabimaru screams on my head. A sound like something heavy crashing in the backyard rushes me outside. As I step into the night my breath catches frozen on my throat. Not because of the cold, but because of him. The White Emperor is standing right in front of me and although they say the white are the smallest of dragons he is still huge and splendorous. An aura of coldness seems to emanate from him. I notice his wide feet surrounded by white scales resembling fur and the sharp claws. The other scales covering his body are reptile in appearance, except for the ones covering the extended broad wings. These last ones seem more like fluffy feathers. But they all shine a blinding white under the moonlight. I search the dragon grey eyes above the sharp white teeth but they don't seem human anymore. I'm standing in front of a wild untamed creature and he seems eager for blood.

**Adjectives that cross my mind:**

**Majestic**

**Beautiful**

**Lethal**

"Abarai Renji" he roars and his deep voice shakes my bones. "You will pay for what you have done!"

He shifts his weight getting closer and I notice he is bleeding from a hound in is middle thorax, right below the right wing. The red blood is like a flag in the snow of his body. He catches me looking at it.

"Happy for having one of our scales? Happy that you deceived my master as to retrieve one from our flesh, in order to give it to you? Are you already the happiest man alive?"

"Your master?" I ask shocked.

"The man you tricked with you potion. He may have succumbed to your poison but before he faint unable to leave the room, I swore to him I was going to avenge him."

"Kuchiki Byakuya? He is your master?" I ask in disbelief.

"Don't speak of him like you know him mongrel!" he roar again and I can feel his cold mint breath on my skin.

"I didn't mean to make him harm. That's why I worn him yesterday. If he stays in his room a little longer everything will be back to normal tomorrow. And as for your scale I didn't know, I…"

"You wanted for him to feel desire, to succumb to you in order to give you one of our scales…" He speaks with disdain and…hurt?

"No, I …"

"So if is _conjunctio_ you are seeking I'm going to deliver it to you. Don't worry, because you will not live long enough to feel pain" I can see liquid mercury revolving in his cold eyes.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"_Renji_" Zabimaru voice echoes all thru my body "_Leave this to us_."

I start to feel dizzy and feel like thousands of butterflies are kissing my body. The dragon doesn't seem so big anymore and I can catch a surprised look on his eyes as he advances towards me. When I search my hands I only see Zabimaru paws on the ground and a snake head looking preoccupied at me.

"_What the fuck is…"_

"Renji, rest now!" The snake Zabimaru urges me.

I faint as the White Emperor grabs my body, Zabimaru body, with one of his furred paws…

_I'm dreaming that I'm flying __high in the sky. I ear wing-beats. I'm scared but I'm also enjoying the speed and the rush of wind on my skin. I can also feel smooth, warm skin next to mine. The wing-beating then stops and I feel feathers surround all my body and leave me in the darkness. At the same time my head gets light from the free-falling and an unbelievable pain pierces my body…_

1) Dance_and_

2)


	8. Putrefactio part 1: Renji's floodgates

_Some of this material is downright frightening, but there is a distinct presence within and beside me that is not depressed or disturbed by the dream content. It is that part of me that I know as my Soul. (…) This time I put no blinders on so my vision is not limited. In times past (…) I couldn't see anything other than the darkness itself, witch I used as a confirmation that I was valueless. 1)_

_X_

_On my dream I scream with pain as something pierces thru my body. I'm not aware of what it is, I just realize after the pain softens a little that I'm still alive__. My head gets lighter as my body starts to spin and descend with increased velocity to the ground. I'm falling, but somehow the dragon doesn't let go of me…_

I wake with a sore feeling like I was beaten to death...on my...huh...lower back. I try to get some explanation from Zabimaru, but as I manage the first steps I immediately know what happened. I was…raped? By a dragon? Could that even happen and I still manage to be alive!

"Course not, you moron. We were the raped ones. Except…that didn't felt like a rape. I mean…"

"What…ARE YOU SAYING?"

"Uh, well…you see…he…Senbonzakura, well that's his name…anyway, he was really going to…so…we just manage to return to our previous form to defend you, then we find out the three of us were still together somehow, that now you were our conscious mind or something…so…we though it was better to put you to sleep…a little…Renji? Are you ok?"

" …."

"Oh c'mon, we're telling you! It was as if he was under some spell… It was not all that bad…"

"SHUT UP! I'm not even going to try to comprehend what you are saying! I might not remember what happened but I feel it in all my body! This…this was his idea…don't you understand?"

"Huh? Hey, where are we going Renji? "

But I don't want to listen to them anymore. There's only one voice I want to hear. I want to know why…why the man I loved omitted that he controlled the dragon I was looking for and then used him to hurt me.

I might be hot-headed but I usually don't snap over things. I try to calm this rage, this shame, this hurt but I only see black on the back of my mind and on my heart. I know these guards standing in front of me have nothing to do with it but still I send them flying away with a swift of my shaft. God, apparently when I'm really pissed the spells really work instead of bursting on my face. I open the doors to the throne room to find it empty. I almost loose my mind when a calm voice behind me asks:

"What seems to be the matter Abarai Renji?"

I look at him. Perfect in his pristine skin and alabaster hair. Perfect in his ice statue performance. I though I saw a heart there once. I guess that's why I don't try to punch him immediately. No, first I want to know. I take a deep breath and close my fists gathering the strength to speak.

"Why?" I look at him hopefully. I understand now that I'm wishing for him to ask me what the hell I'm I speaking of. Am I so caught up in the moonlight spell of this man? I feel sick with myself as I concentrate to hear his next words. Except…he just closes his eyes and gives me no answer.

"Bastard!" I explode "So you know what he did to me! He said you are his master…his master for crying out loud! You are the master of the last of the white dragons! All of this time you were laughing at me, weren't you? Of me telling you I was going to tame him, that I was going to protect him. I don't understand why you hurt him to get a scale…"

"Dragons don't shed scales Renji. The old ones are replaced by growing new ones like mammals fingernails. You should have study your lesson better."

"You fuck! Sure I didn't know that, but I didn't ask you to hurt him!" I get closer to him, my fists raised. He doesn't move an inch.

"But you did want a scale. And I believe you knew I could give it to you. That's why you trick me with your poison…" for a microsecond a sad smile forms and disappears on his lips.

"Huh? I…tricked you?" Ok, I'm going a little wild right now because I can't stop laughing "You think I gave you that potion in order for you to retrieve a scale from your pet? All I gave you was a love potion that healed your broking dying heart!"

His eyes open wide.

"How so? As to make me fall in love with you and give you what you wanted?" There's mixed dark feelings in is voice but he says it with an acid sarcastic smile that brakes my core.

I look at him astonished.

"That's impossible because…"

"Because I'm not like you? Because I was married? Well, maybe you have heard the rumours about my …tendencies and you thought them to be truth."

"I heard the rumours but I never believe them. Any of them…" I look him in the eyes. "But tell me, prince Kuchiki, why would I want you to fall in love with me?" I ask in disbelief.

"So I would grant you access to Senbonzakura and one of his scales…and maybe so you could have my body. I don't understand why you didn't force your presence yesterday, when I was supposed to feel…animal desires for you. Why did you wanted me to be locked away? Did you fear what I might have done to you in order to avenge myself?"

There's no mask in his face now but I still can feel coldness and hatred. He thinks I deceived him, but I'm not sure what he thinks I've done. I try to catch the pieces slowly…

"You're saying that you think I knew you are the White Emperor master. And that I conceived a potion in order to make you fall in love with me so you would give me one of his scales. You assumed I though this would work because they say you like men as I do. Because of my personal tastes you are assuming that the potion was created also to force you to have sex with me. And if that had happened you would consider the act as a kind of rape and you would have avenged yourself. Is that what you are saying?"

He continues to keep our gaze locked and nods faintly. I can see his tight fists, his search for control. Damn it, can't he even burst it out? I take a big breath before I continue.

"That's amusing, because my potion don't have that kind of power. You see, what second love does is mend broken hearts so they can love again and progress in the path of true love. It doesn't have the power to force you to love a specific person except for the period of time I told you. That period of time is not always a bad thing. If you had fall in love for a person of your choice during the three days, the desire would only force you to take action if you hadn't before. If you don't fall in love during that time, then it can be a bad thing, because you will force someone you see during that time to be with you and not the other way around. I gave you the potion so you didn't die from First Love and I was hopping for you to fall in love with a girl during the ball. When I realized the ball had finished and you were not in love for any of the girls I try to avoid the desire effects towards someone you didn't love, male or female, by asking you to stay locked in your room. If I wished to f…to have sex with you I could of course take advantage of the situation by asking you to meet me at those hours, independent of your orientation, but I didn't do that! I didn't do that because I'm not the piece of garbage you think I am and because…"

His eyes are closed and he raises a hand asking for me to stop talking.

"Well, I regret to tell you your potion is useless." He turns to the door, starting to go away. "My heart is still broken…"

"Wait! I'm not finished yet!" I grab his arm holding him in place. He does not turn. "You say my objective was to force you to fall in love with me and give me a scale and also to make you want to have sex with me…What I continue to don't understand is this: why did you give me that scale? You sure don't mean you…"

He turns slowly and removes my hand from his harm. Then his eyes met mine and I can see a swirl of emotions inside. Then they turn again cold and I'm expecting to hear a gelid voice, but his words are broken and shaky

"You sure don't know your place Abarai Renji. Please leave."

My all body shakes with anger and despair. I see it now. And what should be great is noting more than a despicable act. I close my eyes and feel my hands grab his neck as words filled with hatred leave my mouth.

"So you did fall in love with me and you did feel an animal desire to have _conjunctio _with me…but because you though I deceived you, because you think less of my person, because you don't trust me…you send your dragon to avenge you…I was thinking he was pissed at me because you hurt him but now I see that he was following your orders! You send him to rape me! To kill me!"

"No…I'm sorry…" he mumbles.

_Stop Renji, you are going to kill him!_ Zabimaru screams inside my head.

I open my eyes and realize he is having hard time breathing. I release his neck and instead grab his shoulders in a firm grasp. He takes deep breaths while looking at me.

"Why don't you finish what you started?" he manages to say defiantly between breaths.

"Because I'm not like you! Because I realize now that the rumours about your preferences are true and I can't help thinking that the others must be too…that you killed her!"

He closes his eyes and I feel his body starting to shake and collapse underneath my fingers. I try to hold him in place and suddenly his body tenses, he open his eyes and I see that the mask has returned. He rapidly removes my arms from his shoulders and in a swift move drags his sword and points it at my chest.

"Guards, throw this man out!" he shouts.

Two guards and Soifon rush in and grab my arms before I can make a move. The two guards start to push me to the way out. He is still looking at me when his words chill my veins

"They are all wrong, I didn't kill her. I killed my son…" he moves away consenting that they move out with me.

"What are you saying?" I scream "Let go of me, what son?"

I'm already passing the door frame when I catch Soifon alarmed voice

"Byakuya-sama you're bleeding!"

1)


	9. Putrefactio part 2: Byakuya's floodgates

_I'm watching the darkness reveal parts of myself both known and unknown to me. It is a disconnection from the past, allowing it to die, rot and ferment so it's inspired from higher sources rather than from my earthly self - the new material is emerging from the rich and fecund darkness in concert with my Soul__. __1)_

_X_

There's no refuge from yourself when darkness settles in. You all might find my confession odd and I don't know why I did it. Somehow I wanted to share my secret with him. To tell him I didn't had a choice. Both of the times…

"But it was wonderful Byakuya!" Senbonzakura tells me.

"You already said it so. You could have killed him!"

"But I didn't…Why are you so upset?"

"It's none of your business." I declare monotone.

"Do you want me to show you how…"

"Shut up. Kisuke, what are you doing here?" I slowly turn as I feel his presence in the room.

"You can always detect my footsteps!" he declares cheerful.

I look at him and he hasn't changed a bit. Time seems to have stopped. He is wearing the same worn out green hat combined with a green and black coat and wearing the same walking cane although he does not need one. I've always suspected it to be his hidden staff. I face him like a ghost of a distant and unpleasant past.

"What do you want Kisuke?"

"My, my, is that the way to treat an old friend? Or friends?"

He moves a little to one side so I can see his wife standing behind him.

"Yo, Byaboy, what's up?" she grins to me as if not a single day has passed since we last met. I sigh.

"I'm fine Yourichi. How are your kids?"

"Growing fast! I need a little one. We are trying intensively!" she blinks an eye at her husband.

"I see."

"And you?" she locks her eyes with mine.

"Me what, Yourichi?" I ask, getting a little impatient.

"You gave a scale to Renji didn't you? That's why he called us here. We have been waiting for that call." She declares happily.

Well, that's enough to mess with my already messed nerves. She can still pull the right strings to tickle me off.

"You…you send him to me! Did you tell him who I really am?" I scream with anger.

"No, I didn't. And I didn't send him to you! Although we both thought you might find him…interesting. Apparently you did ne, Byaboy, otherwise we wouldn't be here."

"You put Senbonzakura and Renji lives at risk! If Aizen finds out…" I clench my fists.

"Yes, well that's why we're here. Renji had clear instructions to go away as soon as he got the scale but something…"she looks at me with a devious grin, making every fibre of my being scream with anger "…or someone was holding him back from that decision. When Aizen realizes Zabimaru is no longer by Renji side he will try to know what happened. Renji is in danger…"

"As I am…" I whisper.

"What's the matter Byakuya?" She asks with concern in her eyes.

"What's the matter?" I realize too late I'm screaming again. Did she really forget what happened? Doesn't she know it hurts? I try to calm down... I'm almost in complete control when I confront Kisuke about the potions.

"Do you know about First and Second Love?"

"Ah, yes, yes, it's Renji's philosopher' stone. It's his quest to find love to all humankind, but it's not completed yet. If it's ever going to be…Did he tell you about that?"

"No, he used them on me!"

They both look at me in disbelief for a moment, and then they burst into laughs.

"Well, and did you reached _conjunctio_?" He tries to hide a devious grin.

"Why do you all speak of these things as if you understand them? I find it rather confusing…"

"But it's not because of potions you are pissed" Yourichi breaks the conversation "Why don't you let it out? Why do you always try to hide your emotions?"

"What do you want me to say? Please go away? Don't you know is painful for me to see both of you here? Especially now that's all coming back to me…"

"I tried to save her Byakuya..." Kisuke looks at me with pain in his eyes.

So they haven't forgot, they know what I'm talking about and still they don't go away.

"I know. But I still hate you for reminding me of that."

"I'm sorry, but you need to talk about it. You can't always pretend everything is ok by living in the shadow of the past!" I know he is right, but most part of me doesn't want to accept that.

"I try to forget but somehow you are always reminding me."

"It was no one fault." He declares looking strait at me.

"No Kisuke. It was my fault. If I hadn't made her pregnant even knowing the risks, none of that would have occurred."

They both look at me with a sad smile and pity. I truly hate that, that's the main reason I beard my suffer alone. I can take nobody's pity on me.

"There was no way you could have known your child would be like you." The brunet skin woman tells me with soft eyes and words.

"I should have guessed, I…" I close my eyes as the memories pour thru "…And I almost killed Renji too…"

"How so?" Kisuke asks alarmed.

I hesitate for a moment and then I tell them everything. They always knew my dark secret and I'm so sick of it all. When I stop talking they look at me mesmerized, like children listening to fairy tales.

"So Senbonzakura…your soul…reached _conjunctio_ with Zabimaru?" They start laughing again. I could almost kill them right now.

I beg your pardon? Ah, yes, Senbonzakura is my soul. I didn't tell you before? Well, it was none of your business. So, like I was saying, before you interrupted me, I could almost kill them.

"That's enough!" I feel something inside crack. "Bastard, how can you laugh? If I didn't have given Renji the scale that morning he would be dead by now! I would have killed a person again!" I burst out.

"If I get it clear you were unconscious and Senbonzakura was under the effects of Second Love. You don't have a fault…" Kisuke tries to dismiss the subject.

"How can I not be guilty!" I grab his vests. "Tell me Kisuke, how can not be my fault to know that her soul was not a dragon and still make her pregnant with one? How can not be my fault to see my own son shred the belly of the woman I loved to get free? How can not be my fault that he was born prematurely because she didn't have the body necessary to bear him? How is not my fault to have believed in you when you said he couldn't survive much longer and that he was suffering? How is not my fault when I suffocated him to death?" I scream and I feel hot tears running down my cold face. "How is not my fault that I couldn't control Senbonzakura when he raped Zabimaru? How is not my fault that the man I love hates me? Why do you send him here Kisuke? Why can't you leave me alone?"

I let my knees touch the floor and my head drops while the silent tears, the ones trapped inside for so long, finally find release. I travel to that dark place I should never depart from. It's a cold dark place that has no redheads to warm it up. It's my only place. I drift for seconds, hours, minutes or maybe a lifetime before I feel Yourichi hand on my shoulder.

"Byakuya, for years we were the only ones knowing your secret. Only humans with a soul of a dragon can naturally contact with their souls and shift forms between human and dragon. Only they know dragons are human. And only they know that they can only procreate with ones of the same kind. You didn't want Hisana to get hurt so you stayed away from her for as long as you could. But you also loved her and she wanted so much for you to hold her and let her bear your child. You thought that maybe she wouldn't get pregnant, that you would not be able to impregnate her in your human form, since dragons usually mate in their soul form when reproducing.

But when you made love to her, when you silenced Senbonzakura so deeply inside you, he somehow found a way of participate in the union. How could you make love with the woman you loved and don't let your soul try to reach hers? You almost made Senbonzakura go mad back then. He wanted an heir too, after all he knew he was the last of the white dragons and he loved her soul too. I'm not sure if both of you are conscious of what you both did, but it was out of love and both should not blame yourselves about that.

Dragon females bearing child do so in their dragon forms, never again returning to human form. Your son's soul manifested early and became a dragon too, but the body of the mother was not adequate to bear him, so when he started to die he tried to get free. He killed her, not you, but it was no one faults. You know Kisuke tried to save her by trying to make her contact with her soul. Maybe her soul could have helped her. He also tried to make potions to delay the birth, but in the end she died.

He was such a tiny lovely white ball of feathers and scales but you too saw the pain in his eyes when you hold him. He spook right to Senbonzakura screaming in the room and inside your mind. Senbonzakura understood that he was dying and he offered to stop your son suffering and render you unconscious. But you knew if he had done it he would have gone mad and because he is your soul you would not been able to control him anymore and you too would have gone mad. So you shut Senbonzakura down, you almost kill him, so deep you buried your own soul inside invisible constrains and you alone killed your son soul to end the pain. You did it because you already loved him so much.

Listen, we are your friends and we hate what you became after that. You became a man unable to communicate with your soul, most like Renji. We knew our presence here is not welcome but when Kisuke finally made the hougyoku he knew he could help more dragons and other people. And then that injustice happened to Renji. We discuss send him here for so long. But in the end we knew that somehow you would understand his pain, contact again with your soul and give him a scale to cure him. We just wanted for the two of you to be again the friends we love. Please forgive us if we made you hurt. Both of you and your souls."

I get up from the floor drying my tears. I take her hand in mine.

"Thank you Yourichi for telling the story in your kind words, but in my memory and in my heart it's all darker and I can't stop feeling guilty for their deaths. I always felt the guilt but I was comfortable with the cold inside. When Renji gave me First Love I was forced to contact Senbonzakura again and look again inside our heart. We almost went crazy with the pain, but then he gave us Second Love and I felt my heart light and my soul happy. For the first time in so many years I was proud again of being a dragon, the emperor of the white dragons, of being myself. I wanted to fly again, it feels so wonderful to let my soul take control while I'm conscious inside his physical body and fly…fly over the Snow Mountains as I used to do with my father when I was a child. In that moment I found my best friend again. And he too was falling in love with this man bold enough to proclaim he was going to tame him and with this baboon king walking alongside the man. Senbonzakura started to speak to me again inside my mind. I was reborn and I was ready to love again.

I hardly realized I was in love when I tried to make Renji and his soul happy. I asked Senbonzakura for a scale even knowing it extraction would hurt both of us. But I couldn't imagine it would have the effect of make Renji able to communicate freely with his soul. That's why I panicked when I felt the effects of the potion. I knew I would force him and I couldn't leave my room so the part of me that could take over, blind by the effects. I feared for Renji life but at the same time I hated what he forced me to feel. To fear Senbonzakura power again, to fear myself and what I am. And to know I would hurt again a loved one. I was relieved when I woke up and realized he was not dead, that somehow Senbonzakura had force Zabimaru and not Renji itself. I can only pray that he was unconscious like me when it all happened. But he can feel it in his body as I feel it. And he doesn't understand…and blames me…"

"You should tell him everything and that you're sorry…" Kisuke tells me in a softer, friendly voice.

"Sorry?" I give him a stern look. "I think I'm not the only one that should ask for forgiveness…I can't stop blaming him for open this flow of feelings inside."

"You can be sure he didn't know your nature and he would never force anyone to love him. What he told you was the truth."

"So he has even more reasons to hate me…" I state in a broken voice before I see the alarmed expression in Kisuke's eyes.

"Renji!"

1) Alchemy journal vol.2 nº5


	10. Distillatio

"_By contemplating the past, while being engaged in the present, we can now make informed choices about how to move and interact at the Fire, and out in the world in the future." __1)_

"_A distilled person would know that the Soul, rather than the ego, was now guiding her/his life." __2)_

xxx

I'm feeling nothing more than an empty vessel. I opened all the doors of my heart to old friends, while thinking of him. And everything got out… all the ghosts, all the painful memories. They are now making their dance around me and I can see them clearly for the first time in my life. I'm in that dark place I always been and I feel guilt, sorrow, shame, cold and despair as always. But for once I allow Senbonzakura to be here with me. I let him remind me of the feelings of hope and happiness I experienced in the tree days after I drunk Second Love. I secretly wish for them to be the only feelings that will re-enter the open doors when the dance stops.

"Renji!"

Kisuke shouts grabbing his head. I look at him speechless as I feel my heart pound in my chest. Senbonzakura screams in my head telling me Zabimaru is in danger.

"What's happening?" I hear Yourichi ask her husband.

Kisuke looks at me with great concern in his eyes.

"Byakuya, Renji just established a mental touch with me. He is in danger! I couldn't see mush but I felt his pain. This isn't good; Aizen hands must be behind this. We have to help him!"

I froze for a few seconds as I try to register what he's saying between the babbling of Senbonzakura.

"_Let's help them, please!" _My soul asks of me.

"_Why?" _I reply coldly. He snarls inside my head like he never done before. He is usually so polite when addressing me, as if I'm his master. This change of behaviour startles me from my frozenness and I feel my body tremble with his harsh words.

"_Why? Why? You are joking right?"_

"_I did not give you permission to address me in that tone. Besides, do you suppose they want to see us after what you have done?" _I ask him.

"_Maybe they can forgive us if we help them."_ He replies in a softer voice.

"_To be forgiven you have__ to be sorry for what you did and you are not_."

"_No… but you are feeling guilty…" _He dares using a sympathetic tone with me!

"_That's not the reason I want to save him…I don't need forgiveness…"_

"_Maybe not, but we both need them…"_

"_I…I don't need anybody…" _I reply already knowing I'm lying to myself. As if to punish me, Senbonzakura forces me to see what happened that day.

I try to shake the images off my head. I keep telling him I don't want to see it until I realise I'm begging for him to stop. The images get to the point where he assumes command after I passed out and shifts into the dragon body. I know he will not listen to me and that he will show me everything until the end. The images blur but this time I'm not unconscious. I'm Senbonzakura and I can feel what he felt. I'm inside my dragon body…

_I can't see strait. All I feel is this carnal, ferocious desire to predation. I want to dig my nails in tanned skin and rip thru tattoos until I reach Zabimaru. I feel the weight of my heart pounding and telling me that this is wrong; that I will kill myself after kill him. I try to stop but I'm already flying in the shop direction. I remember that he is separated from his soul, so maybe I will be able to spare him. Either way our destiny is doomed. I'm take aback when I realize he united with his soul. So this is the way is going to be. Maybe if Byakuya was awake I could gather forces to kill myself before too late, but the poison is stronger and doesn't let me take any other action than to possess the redhead body. To my dismay and thrill Zabimaru materialises in true form, a huge bipolar beast that I long to devour. I fiercely take them in my arms and start rising towards the sun. I feel them struggle and hear them call me names I never knew existed. My heart is pounding so loud that at some point I stop listening to them. My blood is boiling and my skin is creaking with heat. I look into the baboon eyes and I experience a joy I've never felt before. They are going to be mine; we will be united as one. I let them know everything I'm feeling as I fight for control, as I scream and ask for forgiveness for what I am about to do. Suddenly their struggle stops and I realise they are smiling at me. I know they desire this union as much as I do and that is a relief. But I can't slow down. And, although I find no resistance, I still take them by force. I can hear far happy cries of pleasure as my mind reaches ecstasy. The pleasure almost makes me miscalculate the distance of landing and I fear for brief seconds that we will collide with the ground. However, after the climax, my vision returns and I can guarantee a safe landing for me and my lover. I'm starting to let guilt wash over me when Zabimaru smiles with sparkles in their eyes. I lose my breath. _

I feel myself shake as I regain again consciousness of the surroundings of my human body. So that's what truly happened… I've felt the afterwards, the soft tremble of muscles after extenuation…after release. But I didn't know that…that Zabimaru had enjoyed it. I wonder if he knows that his soul liked it… Nevertheless the act is still despicable, so my feelings of guilt are the same as before.

"Do you know where Renji is right now?" I ask Kisuke.

"No, images were all blurry. But I'm sure Senbonzakura can find them. If he reached _conjunctio_ with Zabimaru then they share a link only they can fully comprehend. He should be able to get the notion of where they are, if they are conscious…" Kisuke replies giving me a dark look. I fail to tell him I had a glimpse of what that tie is made of.

"_Is Zabimaru conscious?"_ Time presses on and I need to know if they are still alive.

"_I can't really tell in this form, I lost connection as soon as I heard her scream."_

"_I see, very well then. Just don't knock me unconscious this time."_

I never transformed in the presence of anyone before, but I'm not going to care about that right now. I open the nearest window and step out to the balcony while my friends look at me wondering what I am about to do. I close my eyes and I spread my arms feeling the rough wind on my face. It's not a nice wind for flying. The frost bits my skin and in a split second Senbonzakura skin. With the change our chest wound reopens. I never expected it to be so big, but it will heal eventually. If we can survive the blood loss and stay in just one form, that is. But I can't think about our personal safety right now. I didn't think about it when I retrieved the scale and I'm not going to think about it now.

"_Can you fee__l them?"_

"_Yes… Zabimaru is weak and Renji is unconscious, but they are still alive. They are at the Mountains, but I'm not sure where." _I sense relief in Senbonzakura voice and in my heart.

We turn to Kisuke and Yourichi who are looking at Senbonzakura in awe. It's not the first time they see him. It just has been a long time.

"I have an idea of where they are. They are held somewhere in the Mountains. I'm going to find them." He tells them.

"Please be careful. This can be Aizen plan to lure you in. The localization seems appropriate for a dragon to land. He is trying to capture a scale and make sure he destroys all the others. We will be following you on the ground if possible." There's concern in my old friend voice that warms our heart, but the words spoken chill it at the same time.

"Byakuya and I know that. We will be careful…Thank you…" he nods as he jumps out of the balcony. I can feel his despair that matches my own. I just hope is not too late…

xxx

Man, it's been a week since…well since I last saw that royal bastard. And a whole week that I had to listen to Zabimaru complaining on my head. A week that I had to wonder about a lost son and the pain in _The Moon_ voice. Again, I saw the mask crack and I had to deal with the notion that I was probably unfair and misjudged him. I still blame myself for giving him the potion. It was some sick joke of fate that I was the victim of my own research. Well, I guess it was better to be me paying the price, then another. Besides, the events of the last days have been playing in my head like a bad movie.

**Fragments and still frames**

Even when I'm at the store listening to costumers and to Matsumoto giggles. But especially at night, preventing me from sleep and then disturbing my dreams.

"Tell me sorcerer, why do you kneel before me when your soul over there does not?"

"I would be the happiest man alive if I could somehow connect with her again."

"Are you already the happiest man alive?"

No, I'm not. I'm far from it. I wonder how he knows so much about souls and the way I felt when I was separated from Zabimaru. How he seemed to understand the hurt. How Senbonzakura knew my exact words…

"So you felt him? How? But you claimed you didn't see him"

"Well, we are a soul not a human"

An image and a sound repeat over and over in my dreams.

**Long black eyelashes and human footsteps**

"So you did fall in love with me and you did feel an animal desire to have _conjunctio _with me…"

"It was as if he was under some spell… It was not all that bad…"

"It isn't like he is going to bleed to death just because of a scale right?"

"Byakuya-sama you're bleeding!"

Voices keep playing on and on. As a sorcerer, I've trained my mind to focus. But these voices are unable to silence, because they also play in my heart and in my soul.

"As if he was under some spell"

For days Zabimaru insisted on show me what truly happened. I failed to see the relevance in the first few days, but as the week progressed a strange idea started to form.

"_Let me see what happened_" I asked yesterday, out of myself.

"_You sure?_"

"_Yes, damn it! You been asking me to see it all damn week and now you are putting questions? Hurry up already!_"

I see it all and as I emerge from the vision I feel that my heart has found a lost piece. I still feel guilt, I still feel shame, but now I'm almost certain of why Senbonzakura did what he did. And Kisuke is approaching, what a relief! But as the voices fade away, I feel that there's still something that must return to fill the void.

**A pair of grey eyes and long black eyelashes**

I wonder if he knows what truly happened, if he thinks I'm crazy for acting the way I did. If he can ever forgive me and let himself be forgiven. He was truly in love with me, but can that love last now that the effects of the potion are gone? Is this love for real? I'm just a stray dog, just nobody. I always been nobody…but if I happen to be the one he loves then I guess that's all I want to be…His nobody. I let the thought play in my mind for a while as well as the thought that Senbonzakura was noting but rough…and at the same time…I wonder for the first time if…no, I'm no sure…I can't think of that right now! But I wonder if Byakuya Kuchiki will tell me his story someday and if I will be able to take it in. If my love is also that strong and real.

I'm considering all this when I feel a strange presence outside. Something burns my skins and I'm immediately sure I'm being victim of a binding spell. I see the soft glowing colours of the spell filtering thru the windows and coming down at me like tentacles of light. I try to focus and counteract with one reject spell, but it doesn't work. This magic is far beyond my own. Only two men can do this: Aizen or Kisuke. I send a mental SOS message to Kisuke before I faint.

2)Alchemy Journal 3-1


	11. Rubedo part 1

"_He has become what he always has been, but never knew he was."_

_X_

_Streets filled with mud…Some children crying…A white dragon extending his wings…A laboratory filled with sulphur, mercury and early morning raindrops from May…__Zabimaru's voice on the back…A gut filled with rats and rests of food…a soft blanket on the floor of my room…A warm meal by the end of the day…A white man opening his arms to embrace me…Zabimaru's screams…_

"Welcome back to consciousness, Abarai Renji." Aizen's voice reaches my brain like the sound of the ocean on a seashell:

**Muffled**** and unreal**

"He does look a bit pale, I think you were too harsh on him" Gin declares playfully.

"Yes Gin, but let's not forget that our boy is all grown up now. I couldn't risk him deflecting my sorcery"

"I'm not your boy…" I mutter gridding my teeth.

"See? He still can speak."

Aizen steps closer and I feel a shock of needles's pain as he grabs my hair to steady my head. I realise suddenly that my wrists and ankles are tied and I'm sitting with my back against a cold stone wall, somewhere inside a cavern. I can see snow falling outside and a warm fire in a distant wall. Then my eyes travel to meet Aizen ones. And everything I always despised about the man is in plain site. He is not pretending anymore. I will be dead in no time, as soon as he finds what he wants.

"So Renji, you see, Gin and I realized you no longer carry Zabimaru with you. And you're not dead…" He gives me a meaningful look "…that can only mean you completed the hogyuku and reached unity with your soul…"

He waits for me to continue. As I stare blankly at him he just sighs shaking his head.

"Ah, I had a feeling this was going to be hard. But let's think for a few moments…I have one hogyuku, so you were in possession of another one…but it is not at your home… apparently it disappeared in the process or fused with your body…so…all I need to know is how you completed yours, where did you get the final piece…"

"Final piece?" I mutter looking strait into his eyes. I'm so far away that I barely feel the palm of his hand breaking my jaw.

"Don't play dumb with me. Where did you get the white scale?"

Oh god, so he knows even that! I need to focus and think of an answer.

"My my Abarai-san!" Gin voice echoes thru the cave. "White scales are really hard to get. Do you want me to tell you why? That's because there's only one white dragon alive according to legend! Don't ask me why, apparently they were the more powerful ones but always put themselves in the front line of battle. Pretty stupid if you ask me. But could the hogyuku work with another type of scale? Oh no, we tried that lots of times…so…why would Kisuke build a magical stone with a very rare ingredient if he didn't knew exactly where to find it?"

"That's right Renji. That's why we both came to this town and when you arrived here we knew immediately we were on the right track. So quit pretending you don't know what we are talking about and tell us who he is." Aizen demands without much of an inflection in his voice. Although scared I do not flinch.

"He is the White Emperor. If you know so much how come you don't even know who he is? All I know is that he is the last of the white dragons. And he gave me a scale out of his free will!" I replay defiantly, with the last bits of energy that still runs in my veins.

"_He is coming…"_

"_Who?"_

"He is still mocking us Gin." I feel an excruciating pain inside my head. Aizen is trying _mental touch_ with me. Usually sorcerers only can do that with people that they personally know, because it's easier if you have permission to establish communication that way. And we usually don't use it to spy other people thoughts and feelings. But I heard Aizen was really good at it, that he could really scan and screw your mind with delusions. Those stories used to scare shit out of me when I was a teen. But now I will not allow that.

"_Force him out!"_I scream to Zabimaru.

"_I will lose contact with him" _

"_That's the idea, baka!" _I almost feel despair.

"_Not __Aizen!"_

"_Who?"_

But Zabimaru is already busy fighting Aizen attempts. I'm not sure why she didn't assume command when I was off. As the pain swept over my consciousness I still hear Gin speaking on the background.

"It's not important if you don't want to tell us who he is. Aizen will soon find out. And even if you truly don't know, we will just have to wait. He will come to rescue you. And then we can just kill you and imprison him. Oh no, don't worry. We don't want him dead. After all he is the last one. I guess we can just retrieve scale after scale and allow for others to grow. Maybe he will need constant transfusions, but…no big deal you see. We can even be merciful and keep him sedated so he doesn't feel pain" He smiles in that foxy smile of him.

"You bastard…" I barely manage to whisper. And then I realize all the dots are now connected on my mind. The strange idea that was forming is now crystal clear to me. The pain is fading and I know Aizen must have seen it too. It's not an illusion because he can't temper my heart. And my heart is aching.

"_Please don't come…_

…_Byakuya…"_

xxx

It's strange and yet always familiar to be inside Senbonzakura body. I can see, smell, taste, hear, feel the same as he, but my voice doesn't get out.

As we fly towards The Mountains, Senbonzakura is aware that another being is following us since we left the palace. That being is flying at our side disguised in the misty fog coming up from the hill tops. One quick deviation to the right and my soul takes in the vision of a medium sized blue dragon.

When I say "medium sized", and it's important that I state this here, you all will soon understand why, I mean a normal sized blue dragon. It's not that this dragon is smaller than Senbonzakura, it's just that blue dragons are thin and sinuous in form. This one particularly is slim and regal, with scales the colour of ice and a dry scent of ozone.

"If you allow my boldness, you shouldn't be flying if you are injured, Senbonzakura-dono." he states, alighting his flight with ours.

"What are you doing here?" Senbonzakura asks him.

"I heard the conversation and I thought you might use a little help." As plain as that. He is not even ashamed he heard the conversation and followed us undercover.

"I don't need you to risk your life. You have done enough for us. Now leave."

"You are just as stubborn as Byakuya-sama is. Fortunely I'm just unwilling to follow orders as my master."

"_How dare he call me stubborn_?" I ask my soul, a bit taken aback by the boldness of Toushiro's soul.

"Do as you wish, Hyourinmaru. I don't have time to argue with you. Oh, and don't call Byakuya stubborn, please."

I sigh; this is going completely out of my control. Another person I know involved and taking risks. I appreciate all the help we can get, but I would prefer not to involve anyone else.

Maybe this is a good time to talk you about Toushiro. Like I said before he is one of my most faithful servants. He was always aware of my condition and I of his. In fact, we flied together when we were young, as training imposed by myself. I was an adolescent when my father brought Toushiro in after a deer hunt. He claimed he found him alone in one of the mountain's caves, almost dying with hunger. He was just a three year old brat when he came to the palace, but soon he started to hear strange voices in his head. Even risking exposure I had to help him, or people would have though he was getting mad. I had a very hard time trying to make him comprehend he could not be constantly shift changing and trying to freeze everything with his dragon breathe. That, and that this was a secret to keep with our own life. Don't get me wrong, people don't kill dragons because they are mean. Just because they are afraid of what they don't understand. So Toushiro stayed next to me all this years, choosing to keep his human life but helping Senbonzakura gathering the few blue and silver dragons that still inhabit the North. Those were great times, when the White Emperor myth was not a myth but moonlight for other dragons to follow and escape the slaughter done by dragon' slayers and a hope for the humans being taken by The Green.

Wait, you never heard about The Green? Well, let's just say he gave dragons a bad fame, specially the green ones from the Western Forests and that he liked to eat humans. I don't want to remember what Senbonzakura saw in that cave nor remember the fight, so…this is all I will say on the matter.

Then she appeared on my life and the White Emperor was silenced. I couldn't risk her to know. Or worse, I couldn't risk other dragons and humans to know and harm her. Our adventure life was over, but Toushiro still wanted to serve me. If he was aware of what happened to Hisana and the way she died I was not sure. I thanked him in silence all this years for never ask or touch the subject.

"So what's the plan Sen?" I hear Hyourinmaru ask coldly.

"Be there as soon as possible." Senbonzakura replies.

"I see. And the others? They will help if you ask them."

"No, Byakuya thinks we might need to show our true identity to the enemy and he doesn't want others to know."

Hyourinmaru looks concerned at our bleeding wound. He knows the same as we do. That if Senbonzakura and I keep shift changing we will die from blood lose. Suddenly I feel my body soul tense and I hear Zabimaru's voice echoing along with ours inside.

"I found them! They are in that cave over there. We don't have much time…"


	12. Rubedo part 2

_I_** took too much time before starting to write this chapter, because I was not confortable about the action, I hope it doesn't suck too much. Thank you so much for bearing with my slowliness :) Please review, it helps me to know what you expect from the story...**

_"What are you?"_

_"A King."_

_"Where is your kingdom?"_

_"In my heart."_

"_**From a rose, Rosa red, Red Defense  
From a lily, Lilio white, White Offense."**_

_From __Rosa Rubicundior, Lilio Candidior (Bleach Beat collection)_

The pain pierces my brain and I hear my lips part screaming in synchrony with Zabimaru. I skip in and out of consciousness as Aizen mental tendrils move away from me, a devious grin plastered across his face. I shiver, not because of the cold and pain he left inside, but because of the images he planted. Senbonzakura bleeding, Byakuya bleeding…because of me. All because of me and my sick love potions. No, that's not it. I shake away the thoughts Aizen wants me to experience. Aizen can't temper my heart. And my heart now knows the potions had nothing to do with it. We fell in love because we had to. Because it was meant to be. Even if Byakuya thinks otherwise. Even if he hates me in equal measure. And now he is coming to save me.

"_Please don't come…it's a trap…"_

"Do you know what infuriates me the most? That a stray like you, a minor alchemist, was able to achieve the philosopher's stone that most are searching for ages! And because of what? Because you made a dragon fall for you!"

"This was not my quest… but Kisuke's." I try to say, my face rested upon the chilled wall.

"Oh, you are telling me you haven't reached your quest yet? You are one with your soul, and still…you think you can be better? What is missing for you to be one with the universe?"

"It's none of your business!" I boldly spill out.

"Oh, I could just force the answer out you know?" I'm sure he can.

"Aizen, I don't think he can stand it. And we still need him a bit longer."

"You are right Gin. Well, Abarai Renji, it really doesn't matter, I will find it out as soon as I try the hogyoku… in that case I think is time I dispose of you."

I wonder what he means by that. Didn't he dispose of me already? I'm in no state to pose a treat and my life and mind are already hanging on the verge of a knife. Then I suddenly feel the impact of the kido ball before I hear the incantation words. In a flash of an eye I am outside the cavern, my body suspended on the cold air, sustained inside a kido capsule. I realize also that I'm completely naked and that tendrils of magic are realising themselves from the capsule to try to permeate my skin. The pain should be excruciating, but I don't feel a damn thing. That's because I'm about to faint and because I'm mesmerized at the huge mercurial eyes looking with concern towards me…

"Welcome! Have you lost your voice…Byakuya?" Aizen speach is again inside a shell. Or maybe I'm the one inside a shell…

Grey eyes wide with realization. We are both screwed up.

xx

Senbonzakura flies the fast he can after loosing mental contact with Zabimaru. But to me it still seems like an eternity has passed when we finally arrive the cavern entrance. I feel our heart frozen the same instant the image pierces Senbonzakura retina. Aizen must have heard us approaching. I was expecting a welcome magical attack, but not this. He is standing at the edge of the cavern, holding Renji naked body inside a kido sphere, hovering the precipice. The sphere already begun to drain what's left of his energy but he is still semi-conscious. I realize he is trying to cover his nudity as he looks into Senbonzakura eyes…no, he seems to be looking beyond Senbonzakura eyes…Could it be that…I mentally kick my soul for staring, but Renji doesn't seems ashamed, in fact he seems to be passing out…

"Welcome! Have you lost your voice…Byakuya?"

"_What? How does he know?"_ I ask Senbonzakura.

"_Zabimaru is telling me he forced the truth out of Renji's mind."_

Can someone actually do this? I heard about some anecdotic stories of mages and mental touches, but I never …

"_So he knows about everything?" _I should be talking about Aizen here, but I'm not. I'm asking about the knowledge of a redhead towards whom and what I am and the consequences of it.

"_Yes, Renji knows you are here. Although his eyes are shut he is barely conscious. But he and Zabimaru are pleading for us to go away…"_

" _Can you contact him?"_

"_Only through Zabimaru, she's very week too, Byakuya…"_

"_Well, tell them we aren't going anywhere without them…" _Why would someone in danger ask a rescuer to go away? I guess I know the answer but I...

"_I already told her that…"_

"_You what? I was just…very well, let's finish this."_

"Apparently you have lost your voice…are you admiring your lover's body Kuchiki Byakuya? Or the way he's dying on my hands?"

"My name is Senbonzakura. Release him!"

"Oh, what an interesting name for the last of the white dragons and our future source of scales Gin! Care to explain what's the deal to our…guest?"

"Hai, it's very simple, you Senbonzakura become ours for the likes and we release your favourite human. We aren't going to kill you, we just need scales…"

So Renji was right about the scales, they were really after Senbonzakura. We are the main target and Renji is only bait. Because I gave him a scale thinking of saving him, I put his life and mine in jeopardy, so I would gladly hand over my life for his, but I don't think Aizen would stick to his word.

"Do you take me for a fool? You will hand Renji to me this instant. Or both of you will face the consequences."

"You are quite bold for a dragon. But you should be afraid of magic. This spell is a life taking one. If you kill me he will fall, but before you can catch him, he will be dead. So your only option is to do as I say and no harm will be done."

"_Change!" _I hear Senbonzakura scream to Zabimaru.

"_Why don't you change?"_

"I always wondered who could make you fall Byakuya. All I wanted was the hogiuku, but when I arrived at this forsaken land I realized staying here looking for it wouldn't be as bad as I first thought. To build here a new kingdow of magic, apart from Sereitei…To take your place at the throne. But despite all the rumours I fomented about you, your people loves you. Most of the women would cut one of their arms to marry you, not only to become a queen, but to be in your bed. And then I find out that you are also the White Emperor, that you really are the answer to all my prayers, or so to speak."

"You don't pray…" Gin replies playfully.

"True Gin. So…you see Byakuya, you really are a magical creature in every sense of the word. But what surprised me most was not to find out any of this. What surprises me the most is who the loved prince of Rukongai and emperor of the dragons fell for…a male, a former street rat and a medium level sorcerer with tattoos."

"_Bastard…" _I think.

"Bastard…" Renji mutters in a faint voice.

"Enough. I won't repeat myself, hand the sorcerer over and I'll show you mercy…otherwise…" Senbonzakura cold tone resonates thru the mountain's echoes.

"_Change now!"_

"_Stop giving us orders, baka!"_

A blast of ice suddenly involves Aizen and Gin. We need to be fast now. Hyourinmaru will not be able to hold the two in a suspended state for very long.

There's a trill of joy and sadness inside our heart when Senbonzakura perceives Zabimaru taking form. I guess the sadness is just for my part, because Renji mind is now internalized in a baboon body and most probably unconscious. I wonder if…

"_Can you hear me…Renji?"_

"_What… the fuck… are you doing…I… told you… to go away…"_

I can't help but laugh.

"_Hang in there…"_

"_Sure…"_

"_Renji?...Renji…"_

I'm sure he is unconscious…I hope him to be, because Zabimaru is still conscious and trying to free herself from the capsule Senbonzakura just freeze up. Then I'm the one chilling when kido blasts Hyourinmaru away and the capsule starts to fall. My embodied soul tries to follow the capsule but a dilacerating pain burns his left wing. Aizen is trying magic spells on us. I'm resilient to magic, or so I thought before Renji taught me better. I'm wondering if my soul can take magic, but he does not stop. Whether he can take it or not we are still diving after the capsule.

Have you ever heard your soul laugh? I used to, when I was little and Senbonzakura was free to fly with no concern. Well, let me tell you, when your soul laughs, your heart laughs and your mind is forced to laugh too.

"_She freed herself Byakuya! They're alive!"_

"_We still need to prevent them to collapse on the ground! Stop laughing! You are slower then I remember!"_

"_That's because I'm being attacked by magical ropes and you didn't let me fly for about a decade!"_

"_How insolent of you to…Grab them!"_

"Got you!"

The warm of Zabimaru body pressed against Senbonzakura chest reaches the core of our heart. If dragons can hear better then any living creature I'm not sure, what I'm sure is that the pounding in Zabimaru's chest drums inside my mind like a blessing that both of us deserve. In a swipe motion Senbonzakura takes us away from Aizen's and is comrade's reach. I'm a bit concerned about Thoushiro, but we can't go back for him right now.

"What took you so long, idiot?" Zabimaru baboon part replies in a faint voice, her eyes closed.

"I'm a bit rusted… and stop calling me idiot!" Senbonzakura replies playfully.

"You weren't rusted last time we fly…" the snake part grins before fainting.

I smile as does my soul, before a heavier weight sets in. We know they are still alive, but for how long?


	13. Second Conjunctio

Sorry for the long wait, but I like to do this on my own rhythm, so I hope you enjoy the lemon Probably 2 or 3 more chapters until the end. I am not sure yet. With Aizen you never know ;)

"_In the candlelight I can recall/_

_Your naked shadow looking ten feet tall/_

_Like a wild pony dancing along the wall"_

Taupin

**"Red like blood.  
****(…)White like silence.  
Red like the shadows that feed on the night.  
Like a sigh piercing the moon  
It shines white, and scatters red."***

_*From Rosa Rubicundior, Lilio Candidior (Tito Kubo, vol 17)_

Senbonzakura travels fast across the iced mountain tops with Zabimaru in his arms. The nue is getting really cold and all life seems to have abandoned the inert body. There's also no feedback from Renji inside my mind. If only our own body was not so cold…if…There seems to always be a lot of ifs in my life, but I hold on to what it's dearest to me…what I need to be complete, to be myself. That's my resolve.

The dragon finally reaches our destination, our particular shelter in the higher piques. We may yet not be safe here. I do not know how far the mental touch goes between Aizen and Renji, but even if Renji wakes now, even if Aizen learns where we are, it will still be difficult to reach us. Or at least I hope…

This cave used to look warm to us, sons of this weather, white dragons of the North. When was the last time? So long ago…And now…And now I am afraid that a creature of fire will perish in such environment. Our wound looks nasty and it must hurt like hell, but I sense Senbonzakura is keeping the pain blocked from me. It's only a physical pain anyway. Nothing that we can't endure. But that stops us from changing now…

So he carefully prepares some wood and lights a fire with clumsy claws. New warmth spreads within those chilling walls. He grabs Zabimaru body and approaches it of his fluffy feathers near the sternum. Then he curves around himself and the fire, keeping our most precious treasure within the warmth, the dragon spine facing the wind sneaking in. Before sleep, he sends me a vision of the flames dancing across the tattoos of the baboon. That creates another image in my mind: a sun tanned body glowing with fire, full of black marks dancing like serpents. I then see how our blood is starting to cover those black marks over the nue. We may be cold ones, but at least our blood is hot…

Xxxx

I awake naked and shaking with cold. Oh wait, it's not me but Zabimaru's body. There's a source of heat next to us and I feel Zabimaru reach her hand towards it. She suddenly stops, feeling it moisten. Wait, water is not usually hot…They slowly open their eyes, baboon and snake, exhausted from the effort and I realize we are inside a cave. For a moment my heart stops thinking that maybe I am again Azen's captive. But instead we are captive in Senbonzakura claws, compressed tightly against his chest. I realize that…that the baboon body is covered in his blood, blood coming from the wound I am responsible for. The wound that stains his scales, that stains his and my soul…For a second I am mesmerized thinking he almost looks a red dragon now. For another second I feel I am going to trough my guts out, thinking that he is probably dead. Zabimaru reaches out to feel his heartbeat and takes a deep breath. He is only asleep. But for how long?

"Senbonzakura…" I hear them call out in a soft tone.

"Hey Sen wake up, you baka!" Loud, really loud…

A grey eye cracks open. Then white pearly sharp teeth smile, scaring me to death. Nevertheless, I feel Zabimaru smiling back with happiness. But the mercurial ocean disappears again behind a white eyelid, exhaling faintly.

I am not sure if I can do anything to help but I know I need to change back.

_Do you think we can take it?_ I ask Zabimaru.

"_Yes…But…"_

_I'll try some __healing spells…_

"_You? Kido spells? Are you going to kill us Renji?"_ In another circumstance I would be mad at them, but they are right…I will probably just end up by killing us all. But still I have to try.

Xxxx

_A __red hot river running thru the snow while melting everything away. I am a captive in the current, the warm touch of that water caressing my skin, heating my heart. My nostrils flare at the touch of a sulphuric smell coming from these waters. The river is rising and I'm approaching the sky. I can see the White Emperor dancing in the night sky. He is attracting the red waters toward him. Then, he too merges in the hot river, his scales turning blood as they reflect the water. His icy body is being washed by the rushing hotness, but he doesn't make a sound. Instead his substance is mixing with the river creating a second flow of liquid mercury. Red and silver are all around me now and I feel the cold and warm touch of the liquid. I am not afraid, I am at peace._

I am mildly awake. I was having again the same dream, the one about _Conjunctio_. Now I understand better what it means. Senbonzakura informs me that we are no longer loosing blood, but he is still worried. I fail to comprehend what he is babbling about. I am still very weak.

"Outch! Look out! You almost ripped another scale from me!"

I am lost in understanding the statement when a familiar voice wakes all synapses of my mind.

"Yeah, jeez, I am trying ok? You are no longer bleeding; I just need to give you a more permanent cloth or it will start bleeding again!"

If I was in my human body I should have blink twice…or gap…or even droll…Oh wait, I am a prince, I can't do that…But in the state I'm in I can only absorb in silence the vision before me.

Renji is kneeling naked inside Senbonzakura left claw. He is working with a concentration I never seen before beside the dragon torso and underneath his right wing. I understand Senbonzakura is doing his best to allow him to work yet still trying to protect Renji's knees and body to contact the cold floor. As in my imagination, the shadows from the flames bite the now palled, almost purple skin covered in dark blood.

He is grinding teeth and shaking cold, making the shadows and tattoos swirl and dance like a snake and the red hair tremble like a torch. Our blood can no longer warm him, because it ceased to drip moments ago, as proved by the still vivid red in his hands. Renji looks a fire demon and yet the magic he is doing means only to save. A glow escapes those hands and Senbonzakura hisses and curses. Hum, I'll have to correct his manners soon.

_What do you think you are doing __Abarai Renji?_

"_He can't hear you!"_Zabimaru voice resonates in my head. Why do they speak at the same time and so aloud?

"_Well can you tell him I am awake now and that I wish to transform?"_

"_Aren't you forgetting __two things?"_

"_What?_" I asked coldly.

"_Sen can talk. Besides you forg__ot the please part…"_

"_Tell Renji now!" _They can really pi…hum…aggravate a person.

"_Hey don't talk to Zabi that way!"_ Senbonzakura replies. I understand now where he is picking is new poor manners.

"_Senbonzakura…"_

"_Hum…yes master__! Outch, it's not polite to mental kick me!"_

I guess that is enough corrective for now. Suddenly Renji stops and looks deeply into Senbonzakura eyes. He smiles kindly relieved and I can't help thinking it's the most gorgeous smile he ever gave me.

"Welcome back Byakuya! Can you hear me?"

Senbonzakura nods.

"Yes, as long as I share my senses and he is conscious. My master wishes to turn back into a human. I do not agree with that."

"_What? Why not? He stopped the bleeding…"_

"Because even if is safe for us, you can't keep them warm like I can. Renji should be the one turning again, Zabimaru body is more resistant to cold."

"Hey, I am not turning again into a baboon! Besides you are wrong about the heat capacity, smaller bodies should be able to retain more heat and get closer to fire. It's safe for him to return…please, Senbonzakura, I need to see him…"

A different kind of warm spreads inside our heart. We want to feel this meltdown forever. Without a further thought, I feel myself coming forward and assuming command. My mind finally registers the real deep cold inside the cave as the sensorial restrain imposed by Senbonzakura disappears. I hiss and bend all over my naked body. In an instant my body is pushed gently towards the fire, until the flames are almost touching my skin. I feel another cold body wrap itself around mine and a cold hand touch my hound.

"It opened a bit, but I can make another cloth in no time…" I shiver at the hushed voice near my hear.

"It doesn't hurt." I declare as if I am stating the weather. And it's true. But I should be saying "It doesn't hurt, thanks to you…" in a grateful tone. What am I doing?

A ray of warm light escapes his hand, spreading to my body and stopping the bleeding. He forces my body to turn in his direction and I finally met his brown eyes.

"Thank you…thank you for saving me…I am so sorry for misjudge you and…" I hear him whisper. I am not sure why this usually loud creature is whispering, but I take it on the cold and the ecos this cave will do. So when I speak again, I find myself whispering too.

"I should be the one thanking you for saving my life. Thank you Renji…And I…I am sorry too…when did you find out that I…that we…I couldn't stop him, I…"

"Shhh, Zabimaru showed me everything, she loved the moment." He smiles and for the first time and despite the cold I watch him blush. I want to say something but…

"I think I would love a moment like that too…" His face turns the colour of his hair, but he does not divert his eyes from me, while saying it. I almost feel the need to tease him right now, and my lips part to say something like – With Senbonzakura? But I know with who he wants to have a similar moment. And that person, drumming heart and blushing cheeks, it's me.

"Well, Abarai Renji, I am not moving from my current position, I…" I don't have the strength to possess you, as much as I wish for that to happen. I divert my eyes from his. Now I finally found someone I can love being myself. If I can't control Senbonzakura, Zabimaru will fight back and I will not impregnate him, so…I will not have to…again.

But I don't have strength left in me to make love to him, not right now…

"No one said you need to move…Byakuya…" He whispers in a husky voice against my hear, the tip of his hot tongue licking my cold lobe and sending warm shivers down my spine. At the same time I feel a hot hardness pressing against my lower back. Oh god, I hope he isn't thinking of…I find a sudden strength to turn and face him again in the eyes, but in a second I regret doing that. Because what I face now are magma eyes and the big hand that was respectfully resting against my wound is now travelling seductively against my back, pressing my torso against a warmer one.

"What are you doing wizard?" I don't recognize my own husky voice.

He laughs. And the sound goes on and on across the walls.

"Well, prince Kuchiki, I am about to kiss you and fu…make you feel me the same way Zabimaru felt Senbonzakura." He declares with a small insecure tremble of his smiling lips. He's probably afraid I will refuse, but how can I say no? He casted a spell over me once and it will last forever.

"You need to know why?" He asks me, now also with a trembling voice. Maybe it's just too cold in this dammed cavern. I want to tell him I already know, that his reasons are mine, but I also want to hear him say it. That I am forgiven, that he understands who and what I am, that he

"Because I love you…" that he loves me…

Xxxx

I am felling like a teen when I first kiss his lips. I am not sure of what I am doing, but when he transformed in front of me, that pristine body completely naked and shaking with cold, I knew exactly what was missing in my life to be complete. What was missing is to wake by that body everyday, to make this body shake the way it is shaking now, to make this cold voice whisper the way it is whispering now, to make this heart against my chest pound the way it is pounding now, to dilate this black pupils until the gray completely disappears.

The way they are now…

I continue to kiss him passionately until he closes his eyelids and responds. I feel his tongue moving eagerly inside my mouth and I have to suppress a chuckle because I wasn't expecting this counterattack. We are both warmer now, and I press my body and my erection against his, trying to get more heat. Oh boy, he is hard too. I try to get some distraction from that fact and learn the body I am holding. My hands travel sometimes feather like, sometimes rough enough against his back, against his hips, between his black jet hair. I have to search between dry blood to feel the promise of silk that skin holds, but it's worth it. He is still a bit tense, but soon he sights against my lips and I feel his hands searching my skin as well. I know I am covered in dry blood too and that my skin is full of scars and roughness because of the ink, but he seems to like what he finds. His touch is tentatively at first, but I feel it become restless in every inch he uncovers.

"Byakuya…"

I part the kiss and look down holding his erection firmly in my hand. He gasps at the sudden contact and tenses again.

"Relax will you?" I smile as I descend towards my hand, kissing petal like skin, blood, nipples and grasping my teeth at well toned muscles. I am a bit surprised he has such a complexion, he looks so fragile, so thin. I surround the wound with the tip of my tongue until he his gasping again.

"Thank you for the scale…" I smile again looking into his eyes, which now look like a thunder sky.

"Thank you for the treatment…" He manages a small smile and my heart skips a beat as always. I know he is talking about my present ministrations, so I indulge him a bit more, until he relaxes completely. He starts to play with my hair, massaging my scalp and seductively guiding me down. I don't think he does it consciously, because he hisses, pulls my hair and tenses again when I take him in my mouth. He his delicious! As impossible as it might seem, his skin is even softer here,

**like if you were drinking silk.**

Well, I am. I never expected him to come so fast, but I guess it's been a long time since he indulge in such pleasures. I take it all in my mouth as I look at him, completely flushed, shaking but biting his lower lip in order not to make a sound. Damn, I want to hear him scream!

"Ren…ji…I…" he mutters almost as an apology for coming hard in my mouth. Or because he is almost falling asleep. I travel fast to his mouth, giving him a taste of himself. Fist he tries to push me away, but then he grabs my hair, deepening the kiss and starts moaning. Oh fuck, he is moaning now…And what a lovely sound that is.

I let my hand travel low to his back and start looking for his entrance while we kiss. Again he tenses and I am sure this is all new to him. I need to be patient, but time is all we have in this forgotten realms.

We are both moaning and panting by the time he is prepared to take me in. He is hard as a rock again. I raise one of his legs above my hip and take him looking strait into his eyes. Fuck, he's tight. He blinks and his pupils dilate even more, but other than that he does not move. For a second I can't move either. Then he smiles fully.

"I though this was the part where you start moving Renji…" he teases me.

"I was distracted looking at your eyes…"

"I noticed that…" he continues to smile and without taking my eyes of his I start moving at a slow pace. I would like to go faster, but I am a bit concerned about his wound. As voicing my thoughts he starts to move against me, taking me even deeper.

"Faster…" he pleads with misty eyes and I almost come at that. But I also want the moment to last as much as I can take it. So I pound into him more faster, but not too fast, taking it all out and putting all back in with hard stokes, until he is screaming my name and I feel his hot seed in my abdomen and chest. That's enough to make me come hard and for a long time, while both of our bodies are still trembling. I would be lying if I said I ever felt this complete in my entire life. I grab his shaking body into a fierce embrace and I do not pull out. I don't want him to see the happy tears in my eyes, but I want him to know this:

**That he is my ****philosopher' stone**

**My ultimate goal**

**My true love**

I can't voice anything between my panting, but I don't need to.

"I…love…you too…Renji…" said in an affectionate, pleased voice is all I need.


	14. Coagulatio part 1: Assuming decisions

I** am really sorry for the long wait...I am really thankfull for all the kind reviews. This chapter is not intirely the way I wanted it to be, but I felt I needed to publish it so I could move on with the story. So, please let me know what you think. Also, I was considering to edit the previous chapters if anyone is interested in beta-reading them. I know I do a lot of mistakes. Well, I hope you enjoy this one...**

"_In Alchemy, a whole person is one who has travelled through all the lower stages: calcination (burning out the ego's control), dissolution (redeeming the emotions), separation (deciding what's important)––many times––and has then moved into numerous explorations of the stage of conjunction to discover the heart. A whole person welcomes Putrefaction-Fermentation, Distillation, and Coagulation, which is where wholeness is confirmed. But even though Coagulation is the final stage, the end is just the beginning. This is no resting place, for it requires more responsiveness than ever before, more discomfort than when we were at varying degrees of unconsciousness, and more vision of how our moment to moment decisions can affect entire universes. It is also filled with ineffable experience that we may never have imagined possible."_

"_The resurrected Queen holds the Stone. (Splendor Solis 1500s_)"

"Prince Kuchiki…"

I hear someone calling me. For a moment I believe I am in my own bed, and this is just a regular day. Then I feel Renji holding my body tight, the warmth of his breath caressing my neck. Other than that I barely can feel my frozen body. Who is calling me?

This is not a regular day. I feel myself smiling despite everything. This is the first day of my new life. I…shouldn't I be more restrained, more…I am acting like my heart has a will of its own. Should I believe this is real? That the body compressed against mine will remain? That such happiness is within my reach?

"Prince Kuchiki…"

I open one eye and sigh. Of course…this will be embarrassing eventually…although I am relieved he is alive.

"Hyourinmaru…How are you?"

"Better than you, apparently…We need to get the two of you out of here. Lord Aizen is controlling the green dragons. They will ravish this cavern, as soon as he finds out where Renji is."

"Green dragons?" A colder shill runs my veins, as a flood of memories rushes in. Why are these individuals always on the wrong side?

"Yes, Aizen must have offered them revenge against you. Or he threatened them with the scale removing torture. After the attack I went back and watched as he instructed them to follow you, and they are pretty obsessed. I managed to distract them, but it's only a matter of time before they go back to Aizen for the correct direction."

I feel Renji moving on my back. His voice shows concern when he finally speaks, looking a bit surprised at Hyourinmaru.

"Before… I couldn't break the mental touch…It was too strong…But if that bastard is searching my mind I would feel it…I mean, his magic is far advanced than mine, and I am not familiar with all the kido spells he used to bind me in that cavern, but…"

"I think we better assume he still can connect with your mind for now, Renji…" I sadly offer, feeling rather then seeing the pang of hurt and impotency in his eyes.

"That or you were too distracted by other activities to notice…" Hyourinmaru coughs. I gave him a stern disapproving look while Renji breaths something like _what the hell!. _Suddenly, I hear myself laughing despite my own will. My true self is a rather surprising one in the presence of this redhead.

Hyourinmaru blinks for a second and then sighs.

"Well…I suppose leaving that baboon behind is not an option to you… I advise you move out of here quickly. That is, if you don't intend to fight back…" A sparkle from old times in blue iris.

"Those days are over…" I state in a low voice. Senbonzakura becomes restless inside.

"That's the man speaking, not his soul…"

"That is the only answer you will get. These green dragons are only victims of Aizen's treachery. This matter has nothing to do with dragon's rivalry. I will not let Aizen drag us to another brother's war. The last one already made us loose too many…"

I close my eyes as memories of the past become more vivid and intense. I feel Renji's hot hand softly travelling my hip, trying to convey some comfort. And it immediately does, although, or rather because of just that, I am sure he does not know what I am speaking about. I am aware that the touch triggers Senbonzakura to open the vault of these memories to Zabimaru and that reflects in a softer, now knowing touch of the man that loves me. Then Zabimaru shuts the vault herself. _Aizen can be seeing it too_…_I am sorry…_

"But…what will you do then?"

I open my eyes reassured.

**It is time for the Emperor to come back from legend.**

"I am going to solve this my way. Renji, can you contact Kisuke?"

"Yes, but do you think it's safe?"

"I hope so, if you reach Kisuke quick maybe he can stop the link Aizen made with your mind…" I really hope that to be possible. If not, we will be doomed.

Fuck! I don't believe he actually went to all that much in his younger days! Of course I heard the legends, but even so…to see the images of Senbonzakura fighting, of other white dragons fighting at his side against the green dragons…and then to feel the excruciating pain of knowing them to be all dead…friends and enemies…and to feel the stain of blood shed by his hands…Damn, you were only fighting for your people, Byakuya!

I try to convey my support by gently touch him. I wanted to say: _Hey, I am here, I understand what you had to do and why you don't want it to be the same this time. I understand and I will be at your side always. Let's do this! Your way, our way!_

"I am going to solve this my way. Renji, can you contact Kisuke?"

Maybe we don't even need to think of communicate by thoughts anymore. It just happens…Well, that's a bit scary if you ask me, but it's also the most beautiful feeling of completion and belonging I ever tasted.

_I really hope that to be possible. If not, we will be doomed__._

"In theory that's possible, but I never heard of any mage stopping mental touches between other people. If a person could develop such ability that person would be for sure Aizen or Kisuke. Let me try out, kay?"

I really hope this will work…

I see brown eyebrows come together and frown in thought. He is really beautiful when he his focusing on something…Memories of wild restrained movement sweetly come to me and I can't stop myself wondering when we are not so wound and tired, will it be…unrestr…I mean…Thoughts that Aizen could have "seen" pictures of our making disturbs me a little …

He smirks. As if he was listening my thoughts. Without my consent and without spells that's impossible…Isn't it?

"Kisuke is informing me it is done." A small grin."What a relief! That bastard is out of my head for good!"

"Good." I can't help smiling back at him. "Hyourinmaru, we need to go to a safe place where we can take a hot bath and get our strengths back. We also need to reunite with Kisuke and take a good look at what magical traps Aizen has laid for you, Renji."

"I'm fine. I want him to look at your wound instead…" a sweet smile that I know now will always be my rendition.

"That's all very sweet, but we still need to get out of here. Then you can both get a room."

"Who the fuck is this guy anyway?" I suppress the laugh at the way my fiery redhead and Hyourinmaru are looking at each other. It's the same way he and Thoushiro look at each other back then, at the ball.

"You don't want to know…" I monotonically declare, closing my eyes, chuckling inwardly. "Well then, let's play hide and seek with Aizen…"

**Small list of synonyms for the word dragon:**

**Speed**

**Invisibility**

**Shape-shift**

**Masters of hiding in their own shadows...**


	15. Coagulatio part 1: Assuming decisions II

**Hey there! It has been a long time, ne? I apologize for that, but I couldn't get this story to progress the way I wanted, so…Even after the great idea from ****renjfantoo**** about they finding a white egg...(thank you, I hope the story is to your liking ****). **** I still have a few issues, but at least it is going somewhere. Please comment, I can no longer promise I'll write faster, but I'll try. :P**

Fortune was Toushiro remembered that Renji was naked at our escape, so Hourinmaru brought a few clothes with him, just in case. It felt wonderful to feel a bit of warm tissue against my skin….but the hot bath would have to wait, as Kisuke was waiting for us at another hideout.

Considering our bad physical condition, we travelled on the back of Hourinmaru to another cavern in the south. I must confess that it was a bit awkward for me to ride another dragon and have the perspective of flying from my very own human eyes. It feels like flying for the first time and that brings me nostalgic memories of my first flights as Senbonzakura. I look at my redhead lover and I smile at the intensity of bewilderment displayed in his expression. I only regret his first flight at a dragon's back it's not with Senbonzakura…

"One day I want to do this with Senbonzakura. He his much faster than this guy, it will be awesome Byakuya!" Renji states as reading my thoughts.

Hourinmaru looks back and gives Renji a cold stare.

"Hey, it's true!" Renji shouts. The blue dragon snorts.

From a human in the back of a dragon perspective, the distances and trajectory are more difficult to access. So, I was at a loss to witch cavern we were heading. Hourinmaru changed his trajectory often and when I say the cave entrance I was sure. I've never been here before.

Before I can start asking questions, Kisuke and Yourichi come to meet us, a concerned yet relieved look on their faces.

"How are you Renji? It's been a long time, ne? Ahh, I see you two made peace!" Yourichi squeels giving Renji a wink, and leaving him turning all shades of red.

"Shut up you demon, what place is this?" I interrupt, for the sake of preserving our intimacy.

"My, my, always bitter when the personal life comes to shove. Not familiar Bya-kun? These are The Elisium Caverns of the green clan. They abandoned it when The Green died. Bad memories I suppose." Kisuke offered. "It was a place of peace even before the war. Here coexisted all colours of dragons that had fall in love with each other, including their progeny."

"You mean…half breeds!?" Hourinmaru asks, as shocked as I am.

"Yes, I mean purple, grey and all the colours you can imagine, it was Sion to them. A faction of the Green always supported half breeds, as they thought perfection was not achieved by consanguinity but by miscegenation. Seems they were aware that consanguinity could lead to craziness, as The Green, a ultimate pure breed, would show later on"

"Why didn't I knew of this place?" I ask, astonished.

"No one knew, it was a well kept secret. During my investigations I found this cavern, but I still couldn't found the presences. It requires the hogyoku or another dragon to find them. You…were too affected by then to ask you this."

"Ask what?" I am already afraid of the look in Kisuke eyes. He is up to something, as always. Then, I realize the tension in Renji's body; his mind seems to be in another place entirely. "What is it Renji?"

"Someone…something is making contact with Zabimaru. Could it be Aizen?" he asks looking Kisuke, distressed.

"No, I have him covered. Renji is clear." Kisuke assures us, most to our relief, but then…Senbonzakura is being called by someone…two different voices. My heart sinks as the memory of a familiar voice comes forward…

_**He was such a tiny lovely white ball of feathers and scales**_

Could it be…no, that is not possible…

Xxxx

I am aware Byakuya is running madly following the voices. For a moment my feet are sink to the floor, not sure of what's going on, or why Zabimaru is so urgently asking me to follow him. There's this mental bound we created, that allows me to follow the pain in his heart. But why? By the moment I make visual contact with him again, I am really worried. He is sitting against a wall, hands in his ears, visibly frightened, shaking and repeating "No, Senbonzakura, he is not ours! " At his feet there are two eggs, 30 cm tall, with different colour shells. I am struck in place and I let my knees hit the ground

**At his feet:**

**An emerald dragon egg**

**A white dragon egg**

_Tell them the male is not the white one, they are not listening anymore! Please Renji!_ Zabimaru screams as she lets a bit of Senbonzakura voice reach my mind _Let me hold him Bya, let me hold my son!_

Son? Of course, how could I forget? _I killed my son…_It was what he said back then, but… I make my way to his side, embracing him. I can't help notice how stiff he is, how he seems to be struggling with himself.

"Zabimaru says the white is a female, are you earring me Byakuya?" I speak into his ear, as calm as I can manage.

"Take the emerald one away, please Renji!" he manages to say before he returns to his mantra, only this time "No, Senbonzakura, she is not ours! "

"I'll do it, just make sure Senbonzakura doesn't kill me." Kisuke says suddenly by our side. "Byakuya isn't shutting him off this time, he wants him to understand and be a part of the decision." Then he looks painfully at Byakuya "Sorry, I could never guess there was a white one…"

He grabs the emerald egg and I see how Byakuya is struggling not to loose control and let Senbonzakura go after Kisuke to protect that egg. Multiple voices are screaming in my head at once, Sen, Zabimaru, even the babys tru Zabimaru, but the screams piercing my heart are the ones from the man nailing my skin, holding me tightly, pleading me with his eyes to be his anchor.

After a moment of eternity, the trembling stops, the voices stop. I panic as I feel a limp body against me, but then I feel his hand slipping into mine.

"Tell me what happened…" I ask softly, kissing his forehead.

I am immediately overflow with images and feelings both Byakuya and Senbonzakura and I am overwhelmed by the pain and suffering they had to endure. I realize now the proportion my First love potion took in such heart. No wonder he was pissed at me! I am also aware that Byakuya decision was made out of love and that both of them are also aware of it now. But because Senbonzakura didn't hold the newborn dragon years ago, he was confused by the screams of the two baby dragons now, past and present become one, the wishes in their heart push forward, until he no longer saw reality. Only when the male voice was pushed away did he realize that the white baby was not the one living in their heart. I let my tears fall freely on Byakuya's face.

"Renji, this is not the time to shed sad tears…Can't you feel it?" He pulls himself up looking at me, the previous strain in his eyes fading and a smile coming to his lips. He then kisses me hard, with such a power that makes my head dizzy. "Thanks to you and Zabimaru, Sen has come to his senses. And I am happy that you know what happened and can understand my decision. Also, I hope you understand what I am about to ask you…"

Xxxxx

Ah, you might feel a bit surprised with the events that are unfolding, as I am, but as I lingered to Renji body, like a seashell to the cliff, not to be taken by the ocean currents of Sen despairing hopes, I knew even I hoped that our dreams would come true. Because when I heard the voices and saw the eggs my resolve was nothing you are expecting.

"Renji, I want you and me to raise the emerald dragon, as our son…" I say happily looking into his eyes.

He stares at me, jaw opened, but never letting go of the grip around my waist.

"A dragon? You want us to raise a dragon? But…who will hatch the egg?!" I have to laugh at that.

"You silly, dragons don't need to be hatched like chicken. He has already grown in his mother belly, he is the only one who decides if he is ready to leave the egg or not, and that usually implies food and warm. Without his parents, or whatever happened here, he decided for a suspended state. It can be decades before he decides to great us with his presence, but by the screams he and the girl are making, I say they just woke up hungry, and the food in the eggs won't last long. "

Renji seems to be mesmerized at my words and I see the want and love shining in his eyes. Then I see the unspoken question take form, how to phrase it without hurting me.

"But Byakuya… how about the white girl? We can raise two, don't you… want her?" he asks in expectation. He doesn't really see me leaving the girl behind. I happen to know I would rather die and Senbonzakura would kill us both if I did that.

"I want her more than anything, but they can't be raised together. They are not of the same blood and time will come that is best if people don't see them as brothers, if they don't see themselves as brothers. You might think I am selfish, but now that I found them, I want the white line to have a chance!" Hum, I don't need to explain to Renji what that means, even if he thinks dragons need to be hatched, he is sharp enough to understand the colour system, but…as I am feeling extremely happy I will explain it to you. There are no recessive colours among our species. That means a white dragon has only mother and father white blood and an emerald is the result of the mixing of green and white blood.

"I see…I don't think you are selfish, I want that too, but…I don't mean I prefer one over the other but…"

"Why am I not choosing the white one for us to raise? There are actually two reasons. First I want you to understand I don't want to make a decision based on colour. I am making one nonetheless. Neither of them are my sons, but one of them will become ours. I feared that Senbonzakura would confuse things, so it his better if the girl is not for us. I don't want to continue to dwell in the past. Also, this is a second chance to set things right with the Greens. You will understand if my plan goes forward, but I have great hopes for the little guy. That is also the only way to protect them from hatred, as my identity is now well known of every Green that lives. They will never kill an emerald, but they will kill a white in a blink of an eye." I state with sadness.

"But who will raise her?" Renji asks concerned.

"I will…it can't be helped…" Toushiro says, laying a huge amount of meat around the white egg. "I had forgotten I hate to hunt, so I just steeled this meat from the market" As plain as that. "The vendor can be refunded on our return, tell the baboon you are sitting on to close his mouth, flies are coming in sir."

"Hey, where the hell did you come from? And why are you so talkative?" Renji asks him, in disbelief. Toushiro snorts. I have to suppress a laugh.


	16. Coagulatio part 2: resolutus

_Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul._

_As the swift seasons roll!_

_Leave thy low vaulted past!_

_Let each new temple, nobler than the last_

_Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vast,_

_Till thou at length are free_

_Leaving thine outgrown shell by life's unresting sea!_

(Oliver Wendell Homes' _The Chambered Nautillus_.)

When I made the journey to Rukongai, in the pursuit of the item that would made me whole again with my soul, I was full of doubts and fear crept at my heart. How to find a dragon? How to tame him? How to make the hougyoku work? How to prove myself worth it? I see now that I am far from being a great wizard. And I couldn't care less. Because that was not what I was looking for. The paths knotted by Urahara Kisuke unfold before my eyes like a moist spider web, reflecting the rainbow colours at early dawn. Each string vibrates to lead to the final moment, the one the spider will close on the insect attracted by the droplets of water. It was never about me. It was never about the _Moon_. It was everything about the hougyoku and Kisuke shoulder to shoulder fight with Aizen. It was always a struggle for the upper hand. Kisuke taught me everything I know of magic, including the basis for Second Love. Aizen made me endure the separation from my soul, I suspect now as a future test subject for his huogyoku. Kisuke send me here in the pursuit of a dragon, a dragon he knew very well was also being seeked by Aizen. A dragon…excuse me if the word leaves my lips with more passion than it should, a man… as oblivious as myself that the only thing that we were truly seeking was completion. For I was missing my soul and he was not in peace with his. For both of us were searching true love. And as much as I would like to think that our orbit collided because of Destiny, I realize now that Kisuke must be Mr.D well paid employee. He needed both of us on different levels. They needed me to prove the hougyoku works, but instead of Aizen attempt to induce my despair, Kisuke offered me hope. They needed a willing dragon to obtain a scale, but instead of Aizen threats and use of force, Kisuke appealed at the dragon's heart sympathy for an equally lost soul. They needed other dragons for the game and they got them, but instead of Aizen appeal of hate and fear in the heart of the Greens, Kisuke appealed at love in a baboon and dragons' hearts. I can't help but feel like a pawn in their game, but, to tell you the truth, a very happy pawn. You see, there is this little unfolded two foot tall shining thing of soft scales and feathers feeding and jumping from mine to Byakuya's lap and back to mine, that as fun as it seems is really scaring the shit out of me. His highness and the midget insisted I was also to feed this troublemaker, even if I risk loosing my fingers. The reason I am so happy is that the two great lakes in the _Moon_ orbs are shining more than ever, even more than when

"Ah fuck, he just bit me!" Ok, forget what I said about being happy, although I can't take this stupid smile of my face, that hurts!

"Abarai Renji…please refrain yourself from using such language in front of the kids." Shit, although he says that smiling, there is this deadly glare that makes me think that he is about to tell Senbonzakura to grab my ass. Again…

_That would be nice…_

Huh, forget what I said about being happy while I kick these two morrows. Let's say I am mildly content, despite hearing Zabimaru voices all the time. I stop arguing with them when I realize that both Kisuke and Yourichi are jaw dropped looking at Byakuya. I fail to comprehend what's the problem.

"They never heard him laughing." Thoushiro informs me, without stopping feeding the gorgeous little owner of silver eyes.

"Really!? Wow, that's quite a lot to take in, ne? He has such a wonderful, beautiful laughter…" Thoushiro rolls his eyes. "Hey, you little f…fellow…if you bite me again, I swear…" I shout. The guy is getting on my nerves.

"Should I send Senbonzakura grab your …hum…that would be nice, wouldn't it Renji?" Oh, that is why he was laughing. But no smiling this time, just the death glare. Right, I better let the little bastard bite me as much as he wants.

"Renji…" Byakuya says delighted as little voracious white teeth rip another piece of meat from his hands "there was this wizard that one day said he was going to tame a great dragon…and… he did."

Xxxx

Renji smiles warmly at me and…he his bitten again. My tender words seem to have a calming effect as he no longer protests and only lets out a long sigh. Maybe I will need to teach the kid some manners later on, but for now, this behaviour is perfectly normal.

I myself have a few stories of when I was born…hum…anyway, like I was saying, dragons are born with a sour temper and a very healthy appetite for meat. Or so they should…I steel glances at the white form in Thoushiro lap, trying not to make comparisons. I inevitably do, but that is only natural, I suppose. There is this plastered smile on Thoushiro face, that is almost scary. Again, no questions asked and Hyouninmaru had the sufficient clarity of mind to see what was needed. If the eggs had open with no food around, I can't imagine the scenario we would be facing now. One thing I am sure, it would be nasty. Also, we couldn't risk travel without them, or take them with us without them ecloding. So, with the smell of food and the heat of the fire provided by Kisuke, they begin to eclode immediately. I was right, they were already really hungry. And they made the connection in a second. I recall Renji holding that first piece of meat in his and my fingers, together, deeper concentration in his fiery caramel eyes, his heart pounding fast and his breath on hold as a glimmer of emerald poured on a cracked shell…A smile finds it's way to my lips, even now. Only one though on his mind _Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this?_

Yes, Renji, why are you doing this? And yet you keep doing it with a smile although somewhat aggravated look on your tanned face. I was concerned for Renji's health but meanwhile Kisuke gave us a healing potion that he brought with him and he started feeling a lot better. At least his colours are back to normal now. I must say it done nothing for me, as I suspected. I still must match the resilience I found in this man in front of me. I…maybe I've found more and I started asking too much. I wonder why he did not waver at my request to raise a dragon, why he did not waver at doing the imprinting with me, why despite being …pissed off, that is the most adequate term, he does not shove the boy away. I am aware of his orphan past and that he is always aggravated by his inner kid. Somehow that assures me that he is going to be a great parent. But it has to be more than that… and that's one of the reasons my heart is pounding and my head is spinning fast. The other reason are two apple green eyes staring back at me. This boy…we really need to give him a name. But first…

**How to raise your dragon by Kuchiki Byakuya**

**(A mini-guide for clumsy parents)**

**Give him/her meat**

**Give him/her meat**

**Give him/her meat**

**Watch your claws (or thumbs when in human form)**

**Keep repeating steps 1 to 4 until he/her falls asleep**

**Never, but never, wake him/her up**

**Be aware that the bad temper will dissolve after the first sleep…hopefully**

**If not, repeat steps 1 to 4 quick**

**When he/her changes to human form treat him/her as a human. Don't feed babies with meat! (obviously!- sig: Kuchiki Byakuya)**

**When in doubt, run! (Abarai Renji's later add and heartfelt advice, unsigned)**

"How much can they eat? My, my I am tired of roasting this …" Kisuke complains. Oh, I forgot. Cooked meat, that's important, please keep that in mind. I look at him crunched near a real fire. Although it was risky to light a fire, it is still day and he claimed it would be a lot more dangerous to make a fire spell. Aizen may have a black gem.

"Well, Kisuke, since this all was your doing, I believe that being the barbecue guy is the least you can do" I state sedately.

"That and tell us the rest of your plan…" Renji replies.

"My my, suddenly is a lot cooler in here, isn't it? Yourichi-hime a few warm words please" he smiles, fanning the fire.

"Kisuke, since this was all your doing, and I had to leave our kids behind, the least you can do is make me another…tonight. How warm is that eh Kisuke?" She blinks an eye provocative.

"That's not…what I meant…"

Xxxx

Yourichi is such a teaser isn't she? I can almost forget the things we been thru in the last hours but I know better so I just hold my stare at Kisuke. Not that I have any hopes he will tell me what the rest of his plan is. While I'm at it, a delicious sound of satisfaction roses from my lap. For a moment I ask myself if at last the little bastard managed to stole one of my fingers, but I don't feel a thing, except a warmth curling in my thighs. I look down to see pearly teeth yawning and long dark lashes blinking at me in pure delight.

"He is falling asleep; whatever you do don't wake him…" I hear Byakuya whisper near me. But I am too entranced to look away. As clear green eyes close, suddenly a snore fills the cavern and drool starts to come out of that reptilian mouth. I look at Toushiro and the girl is also fast asleep, only she isn't making any noise, or drooling for the record. Other than that, Thoushiro is just as mesmerized as I am. Not sure why, since I found out he is a dragon too. Shouldn't he be more…knowing of what was going to happen? Maybe it really is impossible to resist.

"Look," Byakuya whispers tenderly in my ear, holding me from behind "he is just like Zabimaru…"

_Yesssss…Yes…_

God, let's hope not! And yet I smile and I let my head rest in his chest.

"Yeah? I can almost feel Senbonzakura drooling and he is still awake…" I deliver.

"Well…"Byakuya sighs and my heart becomes immediately heavy "…let's pick them up carefully and return. Now that Aizen knows who I am, and he is aware of our survival he will not rest until he finds me. That means the village is not safe and that's the only thing I truly vowed to keep. I want you and Toushiro to go with the babies to a safe place, the Silver clan will help you, but I don't want them more involved then that. I shall return to the palace and wait."

"Hey, what the hell!?" I whisper "There is no way I am going to let you alone!" What is he thinking? Was this his plan? To lure me in a responsibility towards this child, so he can fight alone? I can't believe it!

"Renji, it is not what you think…" he replies looking into my eyes, a hint of panic in his ushed voice "of course I want you by my side, but I already saw what Aizen can do and I can't risk to… almost loose you again. Besides, he can't know the babies exist…you need to protect them, I am counting on you for that. I…I will call you to my side when the time comes. I need you to thrust me, I am asking…no…" he suddenly stops and rises leaving me speechless.

He keeps walking to the entrance of the cave, his back to me and the others, his fists clenched. I understand his reasoning but…I am about to reply, to tell him I won't do it, Hyourinmaru is capable of taking care of the little ones, I won't let him and Kisuke fight Aizen, Gin and a horde of green dragons alone. I am about to, when I freeze at that familiar yet unknown voice.

"Wizard, you are not listening. My words are not passing thru, are they? But I will say this only once and I'll make sure you understand. I am not asking you. Maybe as Kuchiki Byakuya I would ask you, maybe as Senbonzakura I would ask you. But…" I am still frozen in place as he slowly strips his clothes while he talks, his back toward us. My heart stops as a cold mist emanates from his bare body, the temperature drops suddenly and the walls crack with thin layers of ice. In a second I take in the vision that keeps my heart prisoner.

**Still and always:**

**Black and White**

In the other second I see my face reflected in two large pools of moonlight staring at me. I know is Senbonzakura speaking, and yet his voice is not the same. I am chill to the bone.

"I am not asking you. As the White Emperor I am giving you a command!"

And then he is gone…


End file.
